You Came Back
by angelstryst
Summary: Shalimar left with Keith at the end of "A Normal Life." This is what could have happened.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I was kicking this idea around for a while and I started the first few chapters. They are kinda short so far, so please forgive me.

The premise of this story is that: What if Shalimar left with Keith in A Nomal Life. What would happen after the finale?

That being said, this is initially a Shalimar/Keith pairing, but there are hints to Shal/Bren and with hope it will end that way, so long my muse is feeling shippy! There will probably be some Jesse/Lexa down the road too. I'm not quite sure how this will work out, but I promise that I will make the ride as exciting and enjoyable as possible.

Thanks so much to Stephanie. My awesome beta!

* * *

_Chapter 1 - Lost and Missing _

_You came back…_

The words echoed hollowly through her as she sat on the top of her new building. The wind blew her long blond hair around her face. Her feral senses kicked in, and she could smell the food from the Italian restaurant down the street. The aromas were enticing, but not the reason that she had climbed her perch to look over the city. Tonight she just needed some time alone to think.

Shalimar had been with Keith for over four months now. They were living a happy life under the radar. They were both working on projects for the Underground. Keith worked mostly for Adam, doing various genetic experiments. Every now and then he picked up a side job for the local lab, but he was too well known to be very public in his work. She had found herself a job teaching self-defense, and the Underground kept her busy the rest of the time. Life was busy enough that most of the time she didn't dwell on her old life. Sometimes she didn't regret leaving.

Then there were days like today.

For some reason she had a horrible feeling that something was wrong. Adam had called a week ago and said that he was going back to Sanctuary. Shalimar had almost lost her mind in worry, she just knew that something was wrong. Adam had been trying too hard to stay out of the Dominion's way this past year to go back to Sanctuary for any reason but something important. He'd refused her offer to return with him and help. He wanted her to stay away from what was going on and keep Keith safe. That was the last she had heard from him. The feeling that something had happened to her family was scaring her. Keith tried to understand and be supportive, but he didn't have enough experience with a frightened and territorial feral to know how to handle her. So he withdrew in hopes that she would come to him when she was ready.

That's why she was up here allowing Brennan's words to echo in her mind. He had sounded so genuine and happy that she returned. She missed him horribly. She missed everyone horribly, but for some reason Brennan was in her thoughts the most often.

Her departure from Sanctuary was quiet and in the middle of the night. It seemed almost poetic at the time, an escape into the darkness. She left separate notes for everyone telling them not to worry and not to look for her. It was tough to write the notes and think of how each would feel when they read them. Jesse's reactions to her being gone would probably be the worst she had surmised. When he came to Sanctuary, she was all that there was to talk to aside from Adam. They had five long years with just the two of them. There were various mutants that came and went for one reason or another, but they'd always had each other to lean on.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered standing in Brennan's doorway for a long time, watching him sleep. He had been one of the hardest to say goodbye to. The feelings that she had for him had never been able to culminate into much more then a close friendship. It was probably better that nothing ever did happen, but nights like tonight her mind wandered to the repressed feelings. What would have happened if she had kissed him or allowed him to get closer.

She shook her head and cleared her thoughts. That was a dangerous path to venture down. It was the path not taken and that had been her decision. Now she had to live with her choices. Looking at the sky, she realized that darkness had fallen and she had dinner plans with Keith tonight. The stars winked down at her, and she took a deep breath before standing and making her way down to their apartment.

She found Keith was resting on the sofa when she walked in the door with his head reclined back and a look of exhaustion covering his face. Shalimar was instantly worried; Keith rarely had that weighted look on his face and when he did it was because something big was wrong. She stood in the doorway to the living room watching him for a moment and wondered if he knew she was there.

"I know you're watching me," his voice came out slightly gravely.

It sent a small shiver through her. Their attraction was not an all encompassing passion, but there was definitely a spark.

Shalimar sat, pulling her legs underneath her, at Keith's side. She ran a hand softly over his face and was gratified at the smile that graced his lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

His eyes opened and she read the weariness and another expression, fear maybe, before he spoke. "Shalimar, I'm not sure how to say this, but I feel you really need to know what is going on."

If Shalimar had any indication that things were going to get this serious so fast she might have put it off. She shook her head and bit back the clenching fear that seemed to be the newest resident in her stomach. "What's wrong?" her voice was almost a whisper.

Keith's eyes met hers and he grabbed her hand before uttering out his words. "The Underground seems to think that something major has happened to Adam and Mutant X."

Shalimar's eyes went wide, and felt an almost physical pain stretch through her, an icy hand clawed at her heart. She tried to grasp at something, tried to hold onto her shreds of control before they slipped through her fingers like a pool of water. "No, I mean, Adam was supposed to call me if he needed me. There can't be anything wrong." Her eyes met Keith's and she knew that the pleading almost begging look was there, but she needed someone to reassure her that things were okay.

Keith plowed on, "There's a rumor that Sanctuary was destroyed. No one has seen or heard from Adam or the Mutant X team in almost three days. I'm sorry, Shalimar. I just found out today." Keith lifted his hand and tried to touch the feral.

Shalimar leapt off the sofa when she felt his hand brush her shoulder. She glanced at him briefly before pacing around the small living room. "I'm sorry," she apologized, but wasn't quite sure what for. "They can't be gone." Shalimar stopped pacing directly in front of Keith. "We need to go to Sanctuary."

Keith stood up in front of her. "No, Shalimar. Adam said that you need to stay. You are safe here from whatever is going on."

"You don't understand, Keith!" Shalimar almost yelled, "That is my family out there. I can't let whoever was hunting Adam catch them."

Keith took a deep breath before responding. "Shalimar, we don't know what is going on yet, or even where anyone is. Give me a few days to find out what is going on before you go looking for them."

Shalimar's face dropped and she felt her eyes moisten. "I have to do something if they are caught."

"We will, Shalimar." He said pulling her into a tight hug. She slowly wound her arms around him and held him tight, trying to quell her fears and doubts.

* * *

The air was cool and the stars were bright as Brennan looked up in the sky. His eyes were always instantly drawn to Leo constellation. It was the zodiac lion. The feral sign that reminded him of the one that he lost.

Jesse shifted on the mat by the embers of the campfire causing Brennan to look back and watch the other two sleep. The budding connection that was there had seemed to fizzle out in the past few months. They now slept within a few feet of each other, but far enough to make Brennan regret for them what could have been.

The campground about thirty miles south of Sanctuary had been a stroke of genius on Lexa's part. They had enough money for a few sleeping bags and a big tent. They bought enough groceries to last them a few weeks, if they stretched them out. The weather was warm, and they weren't far from the shower house. It was exposed, but rugged with no real way to track them. They had paid for everything in cash and stayed away from anywhere that someone might be looking for them.

Brennan rubbed his thumb unconsciously on his ring finger and felt the bare skin that was there. Just another reminder that his world had changed once again. Three years ago he would have shrugged it off and headed out on his own without a second thought about anyone else. He'd almost left when Shalimar abandoned them. He had his chance with Riley, but for some reason the attraction to Riley wasn't what he wanted. His heart felt dead. Mutant X seemed to be the only motivation he had for a while. Now even that was gone.

He reclined back on his mat and stared up at the stars as the feral constellation winked down at him, and fell into a troubled sleep.

* * *

Okay, that little button on the left, could you be kind and push it? I'd really like to know if I should continue this story or not. 


	2. Sparks and Fires

Hello all, and thanks to those who reviewed, your comments are a the bottom!

FFN is being a pain and won't let me bold or italicize like I usually do. I put a few more breaks in so hopefully it's okay to read still.

Just a note to say that this chapter is un-betaed, but I really wanted to get it out so as soon as I get the "clean" copy I'll fix any mistakes.

Second Note: For all of the shippers, my apologies for right now. I really hope that you don't hate Keith too much. He really isn't a bad guy, I'm trying to show how he got mixed up in all this and that he does have real feelings for Shalimar.

Oh, yes and as always, reviews are so addictive. I really love to know what you think, and if you feel the need to flame me, take it somewhere else and let it out. I don't flame anyone else when I review so I'd appreciate the same courtesy. Any constructive comments are always welcome!

* * *

Chapter 2 Sparks and Fires

* * *

"You're still up?" Keith asked from the doorway to the office. 

Shalimar turned to look at him, she knew her eyes were slightly puffy from being up all night reading the Underground message boards, and tried to swipe away the tears building up in her eyes. She couldn't find her voice so she simply nodded.

Keith looked on for a moment before crossing the room to stand behind the chair before he leaned over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He didn't say anything for a long while and just held her until she found her voice again.

Turning in his arms she looked at him before speaking. "It's bad Keith. Sanctuary was destroyed. I checked with some of the Underground online and two of them went there to check…" A small sob escaped her lips and she felt her hands trembling.

Keith moved her and sat then pulled her into his lap and held onto her tightly until she calmed and could continue speaking.

"…Devon said that it looks like the place was bombed. Most everything was destroyed and there were no signs of the team anywhere."

Hands deftly stoked her hair until she had calmed enough to turn her face to Keith's as he held both sides of her face before kissing her forehead softly.

"We'll find out what happened. I promise." His tone was reassuring and soft.

A bolt of fear and rage pulsed through Shalimar. "How, Keith?" She leapt off of his lap and began to pace the small room. "There are no leads for us to follow. All we know is that it had something to do with the Dominion. It's not like we can go knock on their door and say 'Hi we want to know what the hell you did with Adam and Mutant X' now can we? Basically we have to assume that we are both going to be treated like fugitives."

Hurt crossed Keith's features for a moment then he stood up and got in her path. "In case you've forgotten, I'm already a fugitive. They just think that I'm dead, for now."

The rage simmering in her stomach quelled as she looked into his eyes and realized that he was not the one she was mad at. Sometimes she wished that he wouldn't take all of her tirades as well as he did. Rarely would he allow his emotions to overflow like that, and when he did he usually stopped before he said things in the heat of passion. Sometimes Shalimar wanted him to pick the fight with her, she'd even baited him a few times but he never let the explosion come. She missed the volatile spark.

Turning and walking into the living room where she had more room to pace she saw Keith follow her and lean against the wall with a pensive expression. She knew that he was thinking hard about what to do next. Her brain felt foggy. She hadn't slept well in four or five days and it seemed to be catching up with her.

"I have a few contacts that I can call and see what exactly happened. We'll have to set up a meeting somewhere." Keith said softly, his eyes softened as he looked at her. She instantly felt remorse for her tantrum.

"Okay, who do we have to call?" Walking over to him Shalimar took his hand and squeezed it with an apologetic look on her face. "I left a message on the Underground board for them. Maybe that will net something as well."

"There's not a lot we can do right now, but it will be alright. I know your worried, but we'll try to do something." Keith said before gently kissing her on the lips and walking back into the office to retrieve contact information.

Shalimar still felt an overwhelming fear gripping her insides like a vise. Her fight or flight instincts were in overdrive, but she had no release. Making the decision that hovering would only make things worse she walked into the other room where her punching bag hung and began to beat it ferociously with her bare hands. The pain felt good for now and gave her something else to concentrate on.

After almost a half-hour of beating on the punching bag she looked at the clock and realized that if she didn't hurry she would be late for work. Rushing to the shower and cleaning up then dressing she found Keith in the office.

He turned and looked up at her as she entered with a small smile on his face. "I guess you're going to go to work?"

"I don't have to, but I feel like if I stay here I'll only drive you crazy." She sighed, perching on the edge of the desk.

"Go to work, Shal. I'll dig through some of the contact information that Adam left us and see if I can come up with anything." Keith's eyes looked into hers and she saw the honesty and truth that shown from within.

Letting out a melodramatic sigh and rolling her eyes, "I'll go, if only to keep you sane!" She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and almost froze when he put his hand behind her head and held onto her for a few seconds longer then she intended. When he released her she licked her lips and looked at him once more, noting the way that he always sought a connection with her, but for the first time it felt wrong. Deciding not to analyze the thought she gave him another quick kiss before telling him, "Call me as soon as you find anything."

His nod and hand wave told her that he would as she bounded out the door to work. The whole trip there she couldn't keep her mind off of the fact that something had made her feel guilty. She didn't know why or if it was just because of the situation. A part of her had almost expected to see a set of deep brown eyes looking back at her when she opened her own instead of the clear hazel that were actually in front of her. She tried to shake off the feeling and concentrate on getting to work before she was late.

* * *

"Brennan… Brennan… Hey sparky," Lexa tried again as she watched the dark haired elemental gazing at the dying flames of their campfire. 

His head snapped around and he looked disoriented for a moment. She couldn't help but feel bad. She was actually surprised that he was still with them. Every morning she woke and waited with baited breath to see his sleeping bag empty and no sign of him, lately though he just looked like he had completely lost his way.

Blinking a few times in succession he finally answered. "What's up Lex?"

Jesse popped his head out of the tent and interrupted her. "This will work Lex. We just have to get up to the station and I can link into their connections. I should be able to bring it up then."

Brennan looked between the other two for a moment before uttering, "Huh?"

Lexa felt slightly exasperated. "That's what I was trying to tell you before you became transfixed by the dancing flames." She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "Jesse and I are going to head up to the ranger station and hook up to their satellite connection that they have and try to find out what is going on in the Underground."

"Do you think we have any hope?" Brennan's voice sounded flat.

"It's the best we can do. Winter is coming and I'm so not going to stay here in the freezing weather if I don't have to." Lexa put her hand on her hip and used the other arm to gesture to their campsite. "Are you okay looking after the place?"

Brennan turned around and stared off into the trees. She heard him say just loud enough for her to hear, "I'll be fine. I've already tangled with Bigfoot, the rest should be easy."

Jesse grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the conversation before she could ask anything else.

The walk to the station was almost three miles and gave them lots of time to catch up on stuff. Namely what was wrong with Brennan.

"He's been like this ever since we set up camp. I feel like we're living with a zombie." Lexa complained.

Jesse looked at her with a rueful smile. "Lexa, I don't think that he's trying to shut us out, but it's just been tough for him. Ever since Shal-"

"Don't even start with that!" Lexa felt herself snap as she interrupted him mid-sentence. "He's had plenty of time to get over that. She left us. That was her decision, and it wasn't like she asked any of us if we would care!"

Jesse glared at her for a minute before he stopped walking. She stopped a few steps away when she realized he stopped.

"You know what Lex; I let you have your cheap shots when she left. I even let you down her in front of Brennan in hopes that he would feel better. But enough is enough. She had a good reason for leaving. You don't know her. You never tried to know her. You were always locked up in the office talking with your Dominion contacts."

She stalked toward Jesse. "Oh what, so now this is about me? What the hell? She abandoned us, Jess. She left us all a few notes and a lot of junk in her room. And she left _me _with two despondent guys that were so hung up on her that they could barely get through a day without moping. I'm sorry if I don't have the time or the energy to feel bad that she's gone. Besides, Brennan went right back to whoring himself out a few weeks later."

Jesse's eyes turned to the ground, but she didn't miss the hurt in them before they did. "She was all I had for the longest time. I can't deny her the normal life she had wished for so often." He turned his eyes back to hers with determination brimming, "but it hurt Lex. I guess you'd have to have a heart to know how it feels to be broken though." He brushed past her and continued walking.

Lexa knew what pain was about, and she was about to remind him of her brother when she caught a movement in the trees. She felt the heat in her hands and then a wave of sorrow crash over her as she realized that the figure walking away from her was Brennan.

* * *

Walking back to the campsite Brennan realized that he had been so wrapped up in his mind that he didn't notice what else had been happening. Lexa's remarks cut, but not nearly as bad as realizing that the three of them were falling apart. 

A few weeks after Shalimar left he tried to find a replacement. It started with every pretty blond that he could find. Then it moved on to anyone who was the polar opposite. It took him a few months to realize that he needed to stop trying to find a replacement and try to rediscover who he was without Shalimar. He felt like he was just starting to get back on track with his life when everything was pulled out from underneath him. Now he wasn't even sure what to do.

He had followed Lexa and Jesse shortly after they left to see if they could find another pot or jug while they were out. Now he wished that he had just stayed and stared at the fire.

Walking back to the campsite, Brennan dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. Sitting on the log by the dying flames he opened it and read the words that he had memorized by heart.

_Brennan,_

_I'm not sure what I should say, but I just wanted you to know that you mean a lot to me. I hope you don't hate me too much for leaving. I almost had my shot at a normal life over two years ago, but it fell apart. I've got the opportunity again and I need to try. I wish I could tell you more._

_You need to know that no matter what happens I'll always care for you. When you first joined Mutant X we started to get closer. Sometimes I felt like I was missing jokes that you and Emma would share, but then you guys probably felt like that with Jesse and me. As time went on we grew closer. I'm going to miss having you to talk to and argue with. You are one of the only people that would fight both verbally and physically with me and not be afraid. For that I thank you._

_I'm sorry if my leaving hurts you. I really do love you and want you to be happy. Sometimes I think you have changed the most out of all of us. You have become one of the strongest of the team and my best friend. I'll try and contact you when I can. I'm not sure how soon that will be, but just know that I will. I'll explain everything to you then._

_Forever,_

_Shalimar_

His thumb traced over the last few words. He wanted to be able to let her know how much she meant to him. He had always thought that he would have more time, but it ran out before he had a chance.

Folding the note back up and placing it in his pocket he went about cleaning up the campsite and washing the dishes from breakfast.

* * *

Review Notes: 

Oh yeah and don't forget to hit that little button that says review! Thanks in advance!

* * *

kai0707 - Thank you so much for the enthusiasm! I really appreciate the kind words. My muse told me to tell you that she's working on the shippyness, but it's gonna take some time so please be patient. I hope that it works out ok! 

Griffbear - Thank you for the review and the kind words. To answer your question, yes this story starts off about a week after the finale. I'm going to be taking some liberties with this story as in things that happened without Shalimar in the last episodes. Adam is being held by the Dominion and the Creator, Mutant X is hiding out, but still trying to figure out what is going on. I'm trying to keep the timelines between both Shalimar and Mutant X concurrent so that there is less confusion. Hope that answers the question, if not just tell me I'm a dummy and ask again! LOL

Rachel Fox Mulwray - Kisses and Hugs to you to sweetie. Glad you liked the beginning to this. I'm not sure how long it will be, but hopefully I won't take too long to complete it. TTYS!

Jess - Thanks so much for the review and the kind words. I'm going to try to get out a chapter a week, but sometimes RL gets crazy and I can't , but I'm working on the next chapters now!

sam - Really glad you like it so far. I really want this to go Bren/Shal, but it's going to take a few chapters to get there, so please be patient. The J/L dynamic is still there, although I altered it slightly. I figured with everything happening, I'd make them a little more at odds, but I hope you can still see the passion b/w them in the next chapter. It's just in a little different form.


	3. Looking for Clues

_Here it is! The next chapter. I'm really working hard on writing this one, but R/L has been crazy with work and the upcoming holidays, so hopefully the next chapter won't be too long in the making. I have several interesting surprises lined up for this story so I hope you'll bear with my weekly/bi-weekly updates. _

_Great big thanks to Steph for taking the time to beta my stuff! _

_All the other notes are at the bottom. _

* * *

_**Chapter 3 - Looking for Clues**_

* * *

Keith Burstyn was usually a patient man. He had spent most of his life in research and development. Most of that time was spent waiting for reactions and outcomes of experiments. For that reason alone he was able to sit patiently and wait while a contact investigated the whereabouts of Mutant X. He was worried about them and Adam, most of the Underground was for that matter. 

The real driving force behind his concern was Shalimar. As the past days went by, he couldn't help but notice how withdrawn and moody she had become. Learning to live with a feral had been nothing short of interesting for him. Over the past four months, he had slowly accustomed himself to her actions and reactions. A smile ghosted his lips as he realized that it was almost like living in an experiment. She was worth it though. She had been one of the only people he had felt any kind of connection with since his wife died.

The new message notice on the computer screen deterred him from the morbid path his thoughts certainly would have taken. He opened the window and felt some relief at the message. A quick glance at the clock told him that Shalimar should be home in a half an hour. He debated calling her cell, the message wasn't fully detailed, but at least it gave them some idea of the past few months and what had been going on.

Looking at the phone he decided that calling her would probably be better. She said to call her with any news as soon as he knew. Picking up the phone, he heard keys jangling at the front door. Pulling the nine millimeter hand gun out of the desk drawer before walking into the living room, he stood to the side like Shalimar had taught him. The area had two points of exit, through the front door and directly behind him to the fire escape. She got the gun, much to her own reluctance, saying that he needed to be able to protect himself somehow. He stood half concealed by shadow in the dwindling twilight watching as the door opened.

Much to his surprise, Shalimar came through the door grumbling about the crappy lock. She instantly froze and he saw her eyes take on an amber glow as she took in the apartment. Sighing, she noticed him in the corner and a smile tugged on her lips.

"I'm glad to see that you finally learned to listen." She smirked. She had been adamant from the start that Keith learned some things about self-defense. It had taken a while, but he finally understood her reasoning.

Keith shoved the gun into his rear waistband and approached her with a smile. "I was just getting ready to call you."

Accepting his kiss then pulling away she shot him a quizzical look. "I wasn't going to be home for at least another half-hour. What's wrong?"

For the first time in the past week Keith could finally grin and mean it. "I got some news from the underground. It just came in and I figured you'd want to know."

Shalimar all but bounded past him into the office. "What did they say?"

"Here, why don't you read it?" Walking into the room, Keith opened the message and sat Shalimar down at the computer. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry it's not more or better news. At least it's something though." The apology was all he could offer for the lack of information. Deciding to give her a few more minutes he continued. "I'm gonna go and order us some dinner." Being on the receiving end of her distress had been bad enough; he didn't even want to imagine how in turmoil she was inside. Sadly the note wasn't going to be much help.

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

Sitting at the computer Shalimar looked at the open post and read:

_Hello Keith,_

_I'm sorry that I don't have better information for you. As of now, most of the network is in chaos due to the upheaval in the Dominion ranks. Most of the lines are still open, but the security has become a major factor, and it has been tough to get information back and forth. The only saving grace is the few cyber-mutants that are in the underground. They have been able to keep all of the information encoded and allow us to at least communicate._

_I was introduced to Mutant X a few months ago when one of the members, Jesse, was shot by a bullet that integrated itself into him even when he massed. It had been touch and go there for a while. With Brennan and Lexa's help we were able to save him though. They are all good people, and I wish I could do more for them._

_Most of what I can tell you at the present is that the Dominion was dealt a hefty blow by Mutant X and Adam. Most of their main base has been destroyed. They are still working out of their other operation points, but their organization has been cracked and their flaws have been exposed. I wish more people had listened to Adam when he had tried to tell them of the Dominion's secret agendas. Right now a lot of the information that had been withheld is finally coming to light. As you know, the Dominion has been running their own secret society for a very long time, so it was inevitable that corruption from within would eventually happen. Adam wasn't the first person to point it out, but he was the only one who lived to continue his work._

_Speaking of Adam, the only thing I have been able to find out is that he was taken by the main Dominion operatives. No one knows where he is being held or for what purpose. I've heard speculations of major genetic programs that the Dominion had been building upon for years. Somehow Adam had become a key in the development without even knowing about it._

_The location of the members of Mutant X is currently unknown. All underground operatives have been on the lookout for them. No one has reported them being sighted or use of their accounts. The underground is trying to keep tabs on anything that would be ties to Mutant X to beat the Dominion to them. We do know that the Dominion wants them badly. For what no one is certain._

_If I find any further news I will forward it to you immediately. _

Shalimar reread the note looking for anything that might have had a hidden context. She sighed in resignation when she could find none. She looked to the Underground message board to see if her post had been replied to or if Devon had sent her a message. Both were empty. She stared off into space for a moment and tried to think of anywhere that they could be.

There were a million places they could go, but on a limited fund they were probably lying low and trying to avoid all detection. There were the slums of the city that were easy to disappear into, the forest, they probably would have avoided all means of public transportation, and all of the vehicles were probably destroyed when Sanctuary was attacked.

Keith returned to the room and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. She gently shrugged him off and resumed her searching online.

"Shalimar, there's nothing we can do right now." Keith's voice held a note of exasperation.

"Don't, Keith, there has to be something that I can do. I was there longer then anyone." Shalimar felt irritated and knew that she should have been more grateful for the help that Keith had given her so far. She knew that she could easily put them both at risk to be found. A little part of her just didn't care.

"What are you going to do? Return to Sanctuary and get captured? You haven't been a member of the team for a while now and suddenly you have this burning desire to pledge your allegiance by getting captured by the Dominion. I'm sorry if I don't want to lose you." His words were harsh, but his tone was almost a whisper. He stood and watched her for a minute before turning and walking into the kitchen and pouring a cup of coffee.

The words washed over her like a bucket of ice. She had abandoned the team. They had no reason to trust her anymore. What was worse was that she knew if it would help, she would march right up to the Dominion's doorstep and begin to kick as much ass as she could before they captured her.

Following him into the kitchen she poured herself a cup of coffee and stared at Keith as he examined the details of the linoleum floor.

"I have to do something." The resignation in her voice surprised her.

His eyes finally looked into hers. "I love you Shalimar, but I won't watch you destroy everything we've built because you are feeling guilty." His eyes conveyed his words more deeply then she thought they ever could.

For some reason this incited anger into her. Maybe it was because he was too close to the truth. She didn't want to analyze it. "I'm not guilty, but I'm not going to stand by and hope that they are all okay. Do you forget what Adam did for you?"

"No, but I know that he wanted us safe. That's why he didn't involve you." His voice was almost a growl.

She couldn't help but think that under any other circumstances that she would find that tone utterly sexy, but now it just spurred on her anger. "He didn't know what was going to happen. He would have told me to be there if he'd known."

Keith looked at her for a minute before putting his cup in the sink and grabbing his jacket. Before he walked out the door she heard him say, "You say he didn't know, Shalimar. What if he did? What if he did what he always does and kept you from being in the middle to keep you safe?"

She watched almost shell-shocked as he walked out the door and shut it behind him. He had never walked out on anything between them before. Tears welled up in her eyes before she could blink them back, and she slid to the floor wrapping her arms around her knees letting the tears fall. The words and the truth were just too painful.

Several minutes later she heard a knock at the door and jumped up thinking that Keith had returned. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him or hit him, but at least he'd returned. That was until she opened the door and saw the local delivery man with the order of food. Paying the man she dropped the food on the counter in the kitchen and crawled out onto the fire escape. The weather was cold, but she didn't care. Watching as the world moved beneath her, she couldn't help but wonder if Keith was right.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Jesse was on the brink of crying in relief as they reached the ranger station. The tense air between him and Lexa had lasted the several mile walk, and he was almost ready to snap. He approached the building and saw the one ranger manning the post.

"I'll take care of him." Lexa said as they stood off to the side so they weren't noticeable. "I should be able to buy you at least a few minutes."

Jesse nodded in agreement and went around the back of the building while Lexa walked up the road keeping the ranger's focus on her. As she approached she struck up a conversation with the ranger and managed to get him to come out of the shack and help her with some site-seeing spots on the map.

Jesse watched for a moment as Lexa flirted with the man and felt a surge of jealousy spike through him. He knew that rationally she was only acting, but a part of him was scared that before the end of this he might lose the connection they had, no matter how tenuous and strained it had become recently.

Waiting for them to move away from the shack, he got his head collected and phased through the back wall and crouched down. Finding the connection he quickly logged-on and connected with the network. He only had a few minutes at best so he saved whatever he could find relevant to what was going on and saved it to the hard drive. As he was downloading files one in particular caught his eye. Not the message so much as the name that was attached to it, Shadowfox.

In the beginning Shalimar had thought it would be fun to have superhero names and went about giving each of them names. She had chosen Shadowfox. The names were a short lived thing and only three people knew of them, Shalimar, Adam and himself. He couldn't help but feel a racing in his heart as he realized that Shalimar was still out there and still cared.

He opened the message after looking up and finding that Lexa had the guard enthralled in something.

_MX - If you are out there, Shadowfox is looking for you. Willing and able to help you as soon as you want. All transmissions are assumed monitored, but if you get this please respond, you know how. _

The message was short and set on an encrypted post by Shal's old friend Devon. Jesse heard the voices coming closer and quickly finished the file transfers before disconnection and replacing all of the lines to their original locations. Just as the ranger stepped back into view he phased out the back of the shack and moved around to the shaded location on the side of the road to wait for Lexa.

As he waited for Lexa's return he mulled over the message. He knew that it could be a trap, but no one else knew the names they had chosen. It had been so long. Jesse figured that he would never hear from Shalimar again. To say that he missed her was a vast understatement. She had been his rock and so much more over the years. No one else had ever taught him so much or made him feel so accepted for just being who he was. He regretted not responding to the note, but he had run out of time and in the end he realized that he should talk it over with Lexa first.

Footsteps sounded softly on the dirt road, and he looked up to see the brunette approaching. The smile crossing her lips looked slightly self-satisfied. Dark hair and softly tanned skin almost glowing in the approaching nightfall. He missed the closeness that they had begun to share, but had to wonder if maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Continuing her walk past him, she only threw him a small glance to see if he was following. He had fallen into step slightly behind her and took several long strides to even himself with her pace.

"Anything good?" She asked.

"I didn't have time to analyze much, but I found a note from Shalimar." Almost cringing at the sincerity in his voice that the note was in fact from Shalimar he realized too late that Lexa would not be happy to hear this particular news.

Stopping in her tracks, he took three more steps before realizing that she looked upset. He'd hoped that she wouldn't react this way, but over a year together had taught him that he should trust his instincts when it came to her reactions.

"How do you know it's Shalimar?" Crossing her arms across her chest she obviously wanted tot finish this conversation now.

He sighed, "I'm almost positive, Lexa. She used an old code-name. No one else ever knew about it."

"Jesse, don't you realize that you guys never made a move without the Dominion knowing about it? What on earth makes you think they wouldn't have access to some code names?" Fire lit her eyes.

"I don't know how to explain it, Lex. I just know. For that fact, the names were never something that anyone had access to. It was an idea we played with years ago, before Brennan and Emma even came along." Jesse paced back and forth running his free hand through his hair.

"It could still be a trap. What if they got a hold of Shalimar and are using her to get to us?"

Jesse felt a burning sensation under his skin and a heat flush his face. His voice was little more then a harsh whisper. "She would die before ever selling us out!"

She stared back at him in equal rage, "So when she left, she didn't? It's funny because from where I'm standing she might as well have." She turned and stormed away from him.

Watching her leave he could only whisper, "She wouldn't, she didn't. She just wanted to leave." He felt the hot tear trail down his cheek before realizing that the blurry vision was from tears swimming in his eyes.

Lexa had not turned around to look at him and he was glad. Seeing him cry wouldn't earn him any points in her competition to be the dominant hard-ass. Collecting himself and taking a few deep breaths, he began to walk slowly back to the campsite. He hoped by the time he'd returned she'd be calmed enough to have dinner and leave him alone to look through his downloaded files.

* * *

_Please feed my need and review! I'll bake you holiday cookies! _

* * *

_**Clare **- Thanks so much for taking the time to review! It is greatly appreciated. I'm glad you liked the idea. I was watching the ep a while ago (one of my faves) and got the question in my head. So I decided to try and answer it! Hope you like what happens!_

_**Jess **- I'm hoping you mean hooked, b/c that means you really like it! Which makes me happy (really happy), Thanks so much for the review. Promise to update again as soon as I can!_

_**Kai0707 **- Thank you for the lovely review! I can guarantee lots of emotion and angst in the making. The next few chapters are going to be something emotional. I just hope that it's not too bad. Sorry for not much Brennan in this chapter. I'm making it up in the next one. Thanks for the constant reviews. It really keeps me moving. When can I expect your story?  
_

* * *


	4. A Long Way From Happy

_Sorry for the delay getting this out. I have been working on some other projects and have been really busy at work. I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I needed to finish this section before I could get into the next part._

_Thank you to all that reviewed. You are great and beautiful! I really appreciate it._

_I didn't get a chance to get this chapter beta'd yet so all mistakes are my own! _

_Be forewarned, this chapter is mostly angst! So batten down the hatches it's going to get a bit rough from here!_

_Please R&R! _

* * *

**_Chapter 4 - A Long Way From Happy_**

* * *

Jesse and Lexa had been gone for a few hours. Brennan sat at the campfire; he had long since dried himself and changed clothes to avoid their suspicions. Brennan was actually relieved that they had been gone so long. It had given him a chance to have his emotional outburst and then lock it all away again. He had run along the trail that was by the campsite before reaching the cold river and jumping in. The shock to his system had almost hurt and he had welcomed the momentary throbbing of his warm muscles meeting the cold water. 

His natural avoidance of water had done nothing to stop his plunge off of the ten foot drop into the icy depths. He had never been a good swimmer; there hadn't been a lot of places to swim when he was growing up. The aversion only continued when his powers got stronger and he found that the prolonged exposure left him weak and unable to focus his energy. He had learned how to swim well enough to keep him from drowning, and that was all he had needed for that moment.

Hearing the faint sounds of footsteps approaching he turned and looked carefully into the dim woods. The sun had already set and the darkness was already deep within the forest. Standing up and moving silently toward the approaching noise he found a decent cover and waited to see who was approaching.

Jesse's dark blond head bobbed into the light cast from the fire and Brennan felt himself relax as he heard Lexa grumble a curse as she tripped over a tree root. He watched as Jesse grabbed her arm to steady her for a moment and caught her gaze. In a fraction of a second their eyes met, Brennan saw something flash across Lexa's face as she pulled her arm from Jesse's grip and stomped back to her tent. The younger man frowned and then looked up at Brennan with a simple shrug.

Brennan finished the dinner preparations wordlessly while watching Lexa and Jesse argue over something that he couldn't quite hear. Their body language both screamed of tension and frustration. When he finally told them that dinner was ready, he was glad he hadn't taken much longer, the two looked as if they were going to start screaming or hitting each other very soon.

The silence continued until Brennan had finished putting food on the plates and sat down at their makeshift table across from Jesse.

"So…" Brennan let his voice trail off with a questioning tone to see what either would have to say.

Jesse looked up with some relief etched across his face. "I got into the station and was able to download a lot of the Underground stuff. I'll have to take a look at it. Most of it is encrypted and it's going to take me a little while to get through it."

Lexa sat for a moment before adding, "I'm sure it's nothing we don't already know. I mean c'mon, Adam was the source for most of the Underground information. Now they're all out there just trying to figure out stuff the same as we are."

"You didn't notice any notes or posts from anyone familiar?" Brennan asked as dryly as possible. His hope was locked away, and he wasn't going to let it out without a damn good reason.

"Nothing that I could see when Jesse showed me." Lexa said earning a scowl from Jesse.

"Who knows, but we have to decide what we're going to do soon. We're running out of supplies and we don't have a lot of money to be throwing around." Brennan said spearing at the food on his plate. He felt like they were hiding something from him. Dealing with Lexa was a dead end and he knew that much, but he might have some luck coercing Jesse a little later.

Jesse looked across the table to Brennan, "I'm also going to have to go over to the other site and plug the computer in for a little while and let it recharge. I haven't been using it that much, but it's still getting pretty drained."

Almost missing what Jesse had said, Brennan realized that the younger man wanted to talk to him away from Lexa. This was just the opening they were looking for.

* * *

Keith let himself back into the apartment as quietly as he could. His jaw was taught as he waited for Shalimar to be yelling, upset or even storming around the rooms. To his surprise he found her lying on the couch with the phone on the arm by her head. She was sound asleep. 

Taking a moment to look at her, Keith noticed the lines of tension still in her face as she slept. He couldn't help but remember a few weeks ago when he woke up and watched her sleep. She almost seemed like a different person from that time. He knew that the strain of the past week had been incredible upon her. She was still going to work and spending most of the night looking online for any remnants of her old team.

He stood off to the side and watched her face screw up slightly as she dreamed. His heart gave a painful lurch. She had assured him many times that she had made the decision to come with him and was happy about it. Now he wasn't so sure. She cared greatly for him, he knew that for certain, but he wasn't sure if that was enough.

Sometimes he wondered if they had both went with the safe bet. Oh, he loved her, and wouldn't deny that, but he knew it was different and not as powerful as what he felt toward his wife. Shalimar was certainly special and amazing and a bunch of other things to him, and he was almost positive that she had kept him from falling apart on several occasions. Somehow he felt that she deserved more though, more than he was able to give.

Walking quietly to the office he shut the door and resolved to do his best to find out more on the situation with Mutant X and Adam.

* * *

Jesse sat a little way from the campsite down the road that had an outlet. He had left the campsite shortly after they had eaten. Paging through a book, Brennan had looked up at him and Jesse made sure to catch his eye in hopes that he would follow when Lexa went to bed. 

The first message he had fully decrypted and read had been the message from Shalimar. He knew her well enough to know that she was probably frantic. He was pretty sure that even all of these months away from them hadn't changed her that much. Adam had only briefly spoken of her when Jesse asked how she was. Even knowing that she had made the choice to leave hadn't made it easy to lose his best friend.

Soft crunching noises of leaves and pine-needles alerted him to someone approaching. Looking around he saw the dark haired elemental emerge from the shadows.

"I had to wait till Lexa went to bed." Brennan said as way of explanation as he sat down at the table across from Jesse.

Beams from the moon filtered in through the trees and the soft illumination of the computer screen were the only sources of light by which to see, and even with just that, Jesse couldn't help but notice the pensive expression on his friends face. Thinking about telling Brennan about Shalimar and actually telling him were turning into two very different animals. He wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but he couldn't ignore the feeling that he felt when he saw a message from Shalimar. If there was one other person that might be happy to hear from her, it would be Brennan.

"So, what did you want me to come out here for?" Brennan's voice broke Jesse's trance as he realized he had been silent since his friend arrived.

"I needed to talk to you about something," he hesitated, not sure where or how to start. Debating on blaming Lexa, he opted to avoid using her as his excuse. Brennan would be quick enough to jump to conclusions without dragging her name into this prematurely.

"Well, Jess? Did you find anything?"

Before he could stop himself the words tumbled out of his mouth. "I got a message from Shalimar. She sounds worried and wants us to know she's looking for us." He felt like a little kid that couldn't hold a secret. Taking a breath he looked across the table top to Brennan and waited for the reaction.

It never came.

A blank mask almost slammed down over the older man's expression. Jesse was reminded of a roll up door that fell straight down. The outburst or the questioning never came. With a mumbled okay, see you later, Brennan stood up and walked away.

Jesse stared at the retreating form of his friend for several moments. Brennan had always been good at hiding his feelings and keeping the personal stuff to himself. That was no secret. The fact that he had shown no interest in Shalimar's message only scared the younger man.

Turning back to the computer he reviewed the other messages he had downloaded. Not surprisingly many of them were centered on what had happened. Messages pertaining to a few of the trusted new mutants had gone and found Sanctuary in shambles.

Reading the message, Jesse felt a pang of realization strike him. Their world had changed overnight. This was real, and for the first time since Adam came to them with the lecture about going to war, Jesse felt well and truly alone.

* * *

_Okay, I did warn you about the angst! I have a bright spot in the next chapter to make up for it though. _

_Side Note: In conjunction with Kai0707 I have made a video for the beginning of this fic. You can find it at my youtube account: Under Angelstryst videos - __It's titled What Hurts._

_**Jess **- Thank you so much, and my apologies again for this not being out sooner!_

_**Kai0707 **- You're awsome! I'm glad that Keith is developing well. I was worried because of how little I knew of his character, but I hope it all seems to fit. Thanks so much and thanks again for the vid idea!_

_**Clare **- Thank you and I'm going to try and get the next one out sooner!_

_Thanks again to all who have put me on their favorites and alerts lists too!_

_Please be kind and feed my review box! _

* * *


	5. Shades of Gray

_Hey all I'm back. Sorry for the delay. I've had a lot going on, but I'm working on the next chapter now so hopefully it won't be too long in the making. Want to apologize for this chapter being so short, but I'm trying to keep a time line so unfortunately some of these chapters will be short so that the time stays concurrent._

_Wanted to say thank you to all of the reviewers for all of their kind words and wishes for me to speed up the writing. They do help. A special thanks to my friend **the5thsign **who shares of my love of angst and heartache with the hope for some happiness._

_Oh and some good news, my website is finally back up and running. You can link to it from my homepage on FFN. _

_Okay on with the story._

* * *

_**Chapter 5 - Shades of Gray**_

* * *

The next morning dawned and Jesse found that he was the first to emerge from his tent. He stared longingly at Lexa's tent for a moment before starting the fire and walking to the tap to fill their jugs for water. Turning his head skyward he saw the fat gray clouds that promised rain and sighed. He knew it was going to be a long day if they were all stuck in the tent with no chance of avoidance. He was not looking forward to the possibility of altercations to come. At least he could take a small amount of solace in the fact that he had some alone time now. 

The reason he was awake had more to do with the lack of sleep he obtained. Dreams and thoughts of Brennan and Lexa and how they had reacted to Shalimar's message plagued his exhausted mind. He also sat awake for a long time just staring at the messages on the Underground board and wondering what the next step was.

He couldn't imagine being subjected to a life of this. It was a game of cat and mouse that you can only play for so long. Usually he was a voice of reason, but the inactivity as of late had made him want to be more brash and foolhardy. Lexa was trying to control the situation, and Brennan just seemed like he was trying to erase his existence.

"Hey, wait up!" Brennan's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Footsteps made faint noises in the dirt as Brennan approached, and Jesse was hard-pressed to stop. Bitter feelings from the night before still lingered, but he waited for the taller man to catch-up. Jesse figured that he could always walk away if Brennan's words were not amicable.

Brennan caught up to Jesse and grabbed one of the empty jugs from his hand. They began walking down the path in silence for a few moments. Finally Brennan broke the quiet of the morning.

"I'm sorry for walking away from you last night, man." Brennan's voice was almost hesitant.

Jesse knew that it usually took a lot for him to apologize, and accepted the offering with a quirk of his mouth and a nod in hopes that Brennan would continue.

After a few seconds he did. "I needed time to think about what you said. I know that everything has pretty much gone to hell, and I know that I'm not the only one who feels like I'm spinning my wheels doing nothing here."

Jesse took his pause to speak. "I just figured that you of all people might be happy to know that she's okay and that she still cares. Lexa can't stand the thought of her still and I've just been waiting for the three of us to split paths. You're right though, there really is nothing for us to do here, and there's no reason for us not to go into hiding and try to build a life."

The gears turning in Brennan's head were almost audible and Jesse was hard-pressed not to smirk at his friend. When Brennan finally spoke his tone was soft, Jesse remembered it being the voice that was commonly associated with Brennan talking comfortably with Shalimar.

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but I think that I want to meet her. If she can help us then maybe it's worth while."

Jesse stopped as they arrived at the tap and looked skeptically at the older man knowing full well that there was a much deeper seated reason that he wanted to meet with her. Brennan just shrugged off his questioning look and dropped the containers in front of the tap and began to fill them.

As he predicted earlier, the rain clouds above could no longer hold their weight and began to release their load upon the earth. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Keith rubbed his tired eyes and looked over some of the information again. He had known quite a few people involved in the Dominion that had also been associates of Adam. Now he just had to pick one of the one's he thought would pose the least amount of threat. He knew that if they were to succeed in any plans they could not be compromised this early in the game. 

He pressed send on the message and awaited the response. He wasn't sure if the contact would be awake this early or when she would get the message, but he had little else to do for now. Dawn was just beginning to show herself and he looked over the buildings to the sky that was becoming lighter with the soft pinks, purples, and blues reflecting off the low hanging clouds. It was going to rain soon, but at least he could see the beginnings of the morning.

A soft pink ray danced across the keyboard and he watched it as it began to fade. Looking out the window again he saw the gray take away any of the colors that tried to cut through the gloom. The distant sound of thunder foretold the day would be shadowy and dark. Somehow he felt that it was fitting. A low chime alerted him to the fact that he had a response to his message.

Shocked as he was to receive such an immediate reply he took a second before opening it with hopes that this lead would not turn out to be the false step that he was sorely trying to avoid. The message was short, but held hope. It would be enough to keep them on track.

Movement in the living room caught his attention and he walked to the door of the office to see Shalimar beginning to wake. Soft yellow and gold tones reflected onto her from the lamps in the room and Keith couldn't help but feel a strong pull at her beauty. After a few moments her eyes opened and he saw her glance around in a slightly confused state. He took the opportunity to speak then.

"Hey, Shal," he started and stopped as her eyes caught his. Her look was a mixture of upset, confused, and maybe a little hurt. He walked to her side and knelt by her head while she still lay on the couch. "I'm sorry." He stated simply.

Seconds ticked by while she looked at him with her deep brown eyes. Finally she broke the silence. "You didn't come back last night." Her tone told him just how much his actions had hurt her.

"I needed time to think." His voice was tired, and he was afraid that she would be too angry to let him explain his side. Once again she managed to shock him as she stayed quiet and allowed him to continue with a nod. "I didn't mean to be gone so long, but I just couldn't get my thoughts in order. I didn't want to fight with you anymore. It's not doing us any good."

Letting out a soft sigh she brought her hand up to his face and stroked his cheek. "I shouldn't have yelled, but I really did get worried when you didn't come home. I don't even know when I fell asleep."

"I didn't get back until late, and I figured you must have been exhausted because you barely even stirred when I came in." His lips turned up slightly.

She mirrored his actions before feeling her mouth stretch into a yawn and turned her head to the side. The dismal gray clouds outside caught her attention as they pulsated with a soft smattering of rain that fell and coated the city. Wrought iron of their fire escape/patio sang with the pitches of the water hitting it. Her mind turned for a moment and she thought about the way that even after a good strong rain, this place never smelled clean. It made her miss the cliff-side and Sanctuary just a little more.

Strong hands pulling her closer snapped her out of her reverie. Hazel eyes met brown for a moment before Shalimar felt her lids flutter closed and Keith pulled her in for a soft kiss. The kiss was laced with apology and concern. He never moved to deepen the kiss, but neither did she. Content to just let their bodies say what their minds and voices were having so much trouble with lately.

Breaking away Shalimar focused on Keith's face again and gave him another smile that showed her acceptance and caring. Pulling him closer she gave him a tight hug before stepping away and turning her attention back outside to the rain that had begun to fall heavier.

Keith's voice broke the repetitive sound of drops hammering the world outside their walls. "I couldn't sleep last night so I did some more research and came up with a few more things."

"Did you find anything new?" Although Shalimar wanted to be hopeful, she wasn't sure if there was anything left to look for.

A nod of assertion was all it took for that small shred of hope to begin to grow in her chest.

"I remembered Adam saying something about a Senator Morrison that you guys had helped with some security details and decided to try and contact her. She just got back to me before you woke up."

It felt as if she'd been hit with a hammer. Shalimar couldn't believe how stupid she had been to forget all about the time that they had helped the Senator and her daughter Meghan. "I completely forgot about that." She murmured more to herself, but couldn't stop her cheeks reddening in shame.

"Don't be, the only reason I contacted her is because I knew for certain that she only had ties with Adam and was never involved with the Dominion. Several of the people she works with are in league with the Dominion, but I've never known her name to come up at all in reference to her even having knowledge of their existence." He paused, "I think she will help us, but there is a catch."

"What?" This was why she never wanted Adam's job, Shalimar silently seethed. There was too much involvement with politics and placating people. Sighing she walked to the kitchen to start the coffee before Keith started to explain.

"She knows that a lot of stuff has been going on, and she is trying to stay out of the crossfire so she is going to have to be a little sneaky about helping us." He stated as he retrieved their cups and pulled out the milk and sugar.

"Well she does have a lot to lose and the Dominion is pretty powerful. I guess I can't blame her." Shalimar conceded.

"So she has some information on a few Dominion holding companies that she believes could be places that they could hold Adam, and she has also been having her secretary spy on a few of the people that she knows are in league with the Dominion."

Shalimar's head shot up from her hovering over the coffee pot. "What? I thought you said that she had no connection to the Dominion."

Keith smirked. "She doesn't, but that doesn't mean that Adam didn't tell her a few secrets and what to watch out for." His face took on a mischievous grin. "It seems that she has been keeping an eye on things for a while. She also said that she had been looking for you. Adam told her that you went into hiding, but not why."

Shalimar felt her blossoming hope sheared quickly by thoughts that Keith had put himself into trouble. "Keith, you didn't tell her-"

"No," he quickly cut her off as he realized what conclusions she was drawling. He pulled both her hands into his. "I played the part of the Underground information retrieval that Adam and you worked with me to create. Apparently he was better at covering his bases then anyone ever realized because she knew to ask all of the right questions."

The bubble began to form again, and Shalimar let herself smile. "Wow Keith, you really have come a long way, haven't you?"

"You didn't think that I was just sleeping or daydreaming about things I'd rather do the _whole _time you two were drilling all that information into me did you?" He shot her a wry smile. "Now if you don't mind, let's have some coffee and make some breakfast. I didn't eat last night, and by the looks of the food bag that was on the counter when I came home, neither did you."

Nodding in ascension she began to dole out the cups of coffee as they continued to make breakfast and plan for what was going to happen next.

During breakfast Keith gave her the short version of what the Senator had come up with. Senator Morrison wouldn't be able to meet Shalimar publicly without raising too much suspicion, but she had assured him that she would be able to get the information to another source without a problem. She could then send them the time and place for the meeting.

Shalimar still wanted to know where the rest of the team was, but at least she had a lead to follow for the moment, that alone was enough reason for her to feel some relief.

* * *

_**Please Read and Review! I really do appreciate. **_

_**Kai0707 **- I'm so sorry that I haven't gotten Bren and Shal together yet, but it is in the making. Thank you so much for your reviews and your patience. Hopefully you will see some stuff you like before chapter 10!_

_**Rachel Fox-Mulwray** - Thanks so much and I'm glad you like it so far. Hope you enjoy what is to come._

_**Jess **- This is turning out to be more involved then I thought so I hope you like where its going. _

_**Marissa **- I'm glad you like the writing. I hope you like whats to come too!_

_**Bekki Webster** - Thanks for the review. Sorry its taken so long to update, but like I said earlier I've got the next chapter started already and hopefully it won't take too long to complete. _


	6. The X Factor

_**Sorry this chapter took so long to get up. It seriously kicked my butt!**_

_**All aboard the angst train. The next chapter should have some fluffy stuff in it though. I'll do my best to make it a little less crazy.**_

_**I haven't had this beta'd yet so any complaints can come straight to me.� Sorry if there are any mess ups I was trying to get this out ASAP.**_

_**See the other notes at the bottom.**_

* * *

_**Chapter 6 - The X Factor**_

* * *

When Shalimar said that she would agree to get the information from Senator Morrison she hadn't quite envisioned what she was doing right now. Two days after the message had been sent they set up the meeting. It was almost like something out of an old detective movie. A late night meeting in the bowels of a tunnel complex below a building that had seen much better days and had hazardous conditions stickers along with condemning notices posted all along the outside.

Smirking to herself she realized that the three-quarter length black trench and the dark outfit almost completed the look of a secret rendezvous. The Senator was trying to be extra cautious and for that Shalimar could completely understand. 

Meghan was the Senator's daughter and from what Shalimar had seen, the girl was the woman's main reason for existence. Adam had told her that the whole reason that Morrison had become involved with politics was for her daughter. She was trying to build a better and brighter future for the children and their families. It was enough of a reason to extend a decent amount of trust to the woman.

Footsteps approached from the rear entrance and Shalimar jumped up to a support beam that she had checked earlier to be sure it would hold her weight. Landing with only the whisper of a sound Shalimar watched the approach of the man in a brown wool jacket and could hear his dress shoes clicking across the concrete floor.

The man arrived and looked around before placing the briefcase on the floor and speaking softly to the entity he must have known was present. "There is no light underground." It was the pass-code that they had used to set up the meet and be sure that no one else was interfering. 

Jumping down from her perch without a sound, Shalimar hid behind a chipped pillar and replied, "There will be light if we open our minds." 

The man appeared startled but quickly composed himself as he looked around and picked up the briefcase again. Shalimar had used the acoustics of the open space to make her voice bounce, leaving the man none the wiser as to where she would enter from. Remaining hidden she waited for the last piece of the phrase before stepping forward.

"Then acceptance of being is the key to seeing." He stated and stood firmly as he held tightly onto his case. 

Appearing behind him Shalimar made a sufficient noise with her boot to announce her presence. The man turned and glanced at her before looking around again. Shalimar strained her ears to hear the presence of anyone else or smell of anyone in the near vicinity but was only met with dust and the creaking of the building.

Placing his hand inside his jacket caused Shalimar's reflexes to tighten and she had to give the man credit because he slowed his movements before he spoke. "I'm just getting the package; it's inside my jacket pocket. Your more then welcome to get it if that would make you more comfortable." He said this with only the slightest hint of trepidation, but remained frozen in his movements.

"Just do it slowly, please." Shalimar said and watched him resume his actions with a grace that belayed his stocky form.

A disc appeared in his hand as he removed it from his jacket. Extending his hand in Shalimar's direction she moved to take the disc.

Several things happened within the space of a few seconds that made Shalimar realize that both she and Morrison's man were in trouble. A loud groan from the supports above and just to the right of where they were standing, a clicking sound heard in the distance, and the sound of an engine revving were all that she had to go on before the secret rendezvous turned into a fight for survival.

Looking quickly to the man she saw that all traces of color had drained from his face. 

"Y-you we-were s-supposed to m-make sure it was s-safe." He stammered.

Shalimar felt her blood boil. How on earth did anyone know that they were meeting here? All of the communications were through secure channels. Cursing under her breath she grabbed the man's arm and began to run. She would have time to figure out what went wrong later.

Just as they cleared a few yards from the supports, they gave another loud groan and the ceiling collapsed as the roaring of the engine above stopped and she heard footsteps. They were coming down the back side of the old building and down the staircase.

Thanking her ability to scout ahead Shalimar led the man to an alcove with a ladder and pushed him toward it. "Go," was all she said as she looked into the man's trembling face.

He pulled himself up on to the ladder and stopped. "What about you?" He asked as she turned around to see what kind of enemies she would be facing down.

"I'll be alright. Just go, get out of here before you get caught!" Shalimar said before taking off in the other direction. She knew that this man wasn't her betrayer. He was too scared and his reactions were too genuine to hide the scent of his fear. The only thing she could do for him now was to buy him some time and hope that he made it to safety.

The hole in the ceiling above where they had just stood looked unguarded and the falling dust was making a good cover for her as she looked for an alternative way out. Both staircases were blocked and she had a feeling that she might have to do a little bit of fighting to get out of this bind. 

Her eyes glowed in the darkness and she felt the feral side of her stretch itself at the thought of a fight. It had been too long since she had an opportunity to succumb to her predatory nature. Life hadn't been bad, but her body had been throbbing for excitement and the thrill of the hunt.

Leaping to another beam close-by she watched as several men in tactical gear spread out from the stairwells. Three men came from each stairwell. There were two stairwells, one on the east side and one on the north. Six plus the three that she knew were on the next floor up with the vehicle. The odds could have been better, but then again she had handled much worse.

Watching as each group fanned out into a military formation with a lead and two flanking she smiled. The men were skirting the edges of the facility while she was almost positive that the ones on the top were waiting for them to return, but might be prepared for her to attack as well so she couldn't just jump through the hole and run for safety. 

Skirting behind the men that had exited the eastern stairwell she waited for them to go single file past a blockage caused by the support displacement. She grabbed the last man in line and punched him hard in the back of the neck. The other two would be back soon enough to see what happened to their comrade. 

As they came back through she quickly dispatched them by a executing a mid-air roundhouse, knocking them both unconscious. Unfortunately she had missed the other team backtracking and coming up on her rear.

Sharp shocking sensations raced through her body and she muttered a litany of curses as she fell bodily to the floor. The pressure of the electric-prod eased up enough for her mind to catch up to the fact that the other team of three was circling around her and she had a split second before they hit her again with the prod, probably rendering her unconscious with the next blow.

Instinct took over as well as years of training and she felt her body twist and knock out the knees of the one holding the prod dropping him backwards. Doing a kip-up to her feet she felt a baton hit the side of her face. The trickle of blood dripping from her temple only seemed to incite her anger at being caught off guard.

Punches and blows were exchanged between Shalimar and the remaining two team operatives. A knife appeared and stabbed her in her right upper arm leaving her gasping slightly before hurling the knife away and kicking the offending operative hard in the face with a well placed snap-kick. 

Receiving a few more blows, but returning them twice as hard she was finally able to stand above the operative with the prod who was still trying to find his feet. Grabbing him by the throat she pulled him up to look her in the eyes before speaking. Questions were whirling in her mind but she knew she only had a scant few minutes before she needed to leave or risk having to engage any other operatives.

"Tell me how you knew I'd be here." She hissed between clenched teeth.

Through the mask she heard the slightly distorted voice of the man. "I-I don't k-know. We w-were j-just dispatched here to r-retrieve the feral."

"Do you know where Adam is?" She almost knew the answer, but she couldn't stop from trying.

The head drooped slightly, "n-no."

Anger coursed though her at the thoughts of how she had been betrayed, but she knew she was out of time if she wanted to get out without any more injuries. Throwing the man into the wall, she took a quick look around before taking off up the stairs.

Approaching the top she saw the three look-outs standing by the SUV appearing to be oblivious to the action that had occurred just below their feet. They were occupied in a conversation and Shalimar took the opportunity to fling a piece of rebar across the length of the room as close to the roof as she dared. It landed with a clatter in a pile of metal scrap causing a loud crash. 

The operative's heads turned in the direction of the noise just long enough for her to leap to the safety of the second floor balcony that hovered above her. Deciding not to go charging headlong out the door had been a wise maneuver she realized as she looked out a window and saw two more SUV's parked in front of the doorway with several more operatives standing guard outside. Those had looked much more alert.

Moving to the other end of the building made her realize the extent of her injuries. She was almost positive that she had cracked if not broken a few ribs. The blood flowing down her left temple had slowed to a trickle but the knife wound in her arm was still bleeding fairly heavily. Ripping a piece of her shirt that wasn't too dirty she tied the makeshift bandage in place hoping that it would contain the bleeding until she got home.

The opposite side of the building was clear of operatives, but she knew that they would be calling the reinforcements in soon and she was too battered to take them all on by herself. Looking to the gap between the buildings she realized that she was too far to make the jump to the next building. A glance to each side told her that the streets were too wide for her to make a leap across. The darkness of the night seemed to be the only thing on her side right now.

A truck coming down the street seemed to be the answer to her prayers. It rolled down the street in the general direction of where she parked and seemed to be the best option she had coming to her. _Beggars can't be choosers_, she thought wryly. Standing in the broken-out window she waited until the truck was almost beneath her before jumping and landing as lightly as she could with only three limbs operating at full capacity. 

The jarring in her injured shoulder caused a gasp of pain but she recovered quickly enough to use the rear ladder to climb down and leap off the back of the truck when it came within a block of where her motorcycle hidden. Ducking away from the streetlights she made it back to the motorcycle before grimacing and realizing that her arm was going to suffer more because of the throttle. A quick look around and she had the bike started and moving before she could let any more thoughts overtake her.

The ride home was plagued with thoughts of her teammates and how simple the operation would have been with them there. One person in particular. She shook her head from the thoughts and tried to turn her attentions on getting back to the apartment. And yet dark mahogany eyes swam in her mind's eye confusing her even more. No, she was certain that he didn't miss her.

* * *

Jesse and Brennan sat in the tent and stewed over ideas on the best possibility of meeting Shalimar. Brennan wanted a quiet meeting place, but Jesse argued.

"It'll seem too much like a set up if it's someplace that's too secluded."

"Yeah, but it's not like I can be seen walking through a mall or anything like that."

"Oh, so now you're automatically nominated to go?"

"Well, yeah Jess, I mean who did you think was going to go?"

Jesse would have stood up and paced if they had the room in the tent. As it was they were both trying to be a quiet as possible so that Lexa didn't catch onto their plan and quash it before they even had a chance. Of course that would mean that they could actually put a plan together.

Jesse's voice was low but harsh when he finally spoke. "I don't think you should go."

The instant defensiveness in Brennan's posture was all Jesse allowed him before cutting off anything he would say.

"Bren, I'm afraid of what you might say. I know that she hurt you when she left, and I'm afraid you might not be able to put your emotions aside to deal with the bigger problem." Jesse let out a sigh and slumped down at his admission. He knew it was a low blow to Brennan, but he wasn't willing to compromise any outside help with emotions. This was the primary reason that Lexa was in the other tent and not sitting here with them. As much as he cared for her, she was too volatile when it came to Shalimar.

"Jess," Brennan sighed. "I can do this. More over, I think I have to do this. I need to see her again even if it is just professionally. I need to make sure she's alright." The tone in his voice almost sounded defeated. 

Wincing slightly Jesse clapped his hand on Brennan's shoulder in silent support. He thought carefully over his next words before speaking. "I know Bren. I just want to make sure that _if_she can help us that she doesn't turn and run because of any hostility."

Brennan's expression unnerved the younger man. Jesse had become accustomed to seeing Brennan's somber looks over the last several months, but whenever Shalimar had come up the haunted expression in the darker man's eyes seemed to grow each time.

A resigned sigh crossed Brennan's lips. "So what am I going to tell Lexa about where you have gone?"

"I guess that I hitched a ride to town to pick up supplies." Jesse sighed knowing that it was the only likely excuse they would use without too much attention garnered from the dark-haired woman. "Any good idea's as to where we can meet?"

"How about Anapa's?" Brennan suggested.

"Shal always said that they had the best cherry pie!" Jesse said solving his second dilemma of how to post the response without giving away an exact location.

"Jess?" Brennan's question cut through Jesse's musings.

"Hm?"

"Let her know… Tell her… Fuck, never mind." Brennan said before standing and leaving the tent.

Jesse could only watch as his friend walked away. He was hoping that Shalimar would be receptive to the idea that Brennan still cared. She left them though, so he wasn't going to hope for miracles. Although he didn't love her as any more then the closest of siblings he had still felt the pang of her loss deeply.

Shalimar had been a confidant and a best friend. They had shared much together and Jesse had watched from the sidelines as he saw the feelings between Brennan and Shalimar begin to grow. Granted it had taken Lexa to point out the direction of the growth. In the end, when she had left, he realized that Brennan had fallen in love with the feisty feral. He could only hope that when they met again she didn't shatter what was left of Brennan's heart.

Laying back on the sleeping bag he lined up the events for the next day. He planned to get to the ranger station first thing in the morning to upload the message. He would need Lexa to keep the guy distracted. This just caused a twinge of jealousy. Even though they hadn't been close since the group had been on the lam, Jesse still held strong feelings for the raven-haired beauty. He just didn't know how to make things right with her again.

* * *

Brennan sat outside watching the dying embers of the campfire as he poked aimlessly at it with a stick. The golden lights of the flickering flames brought back memories of a similar color hair and complexion. He wanted to tell Jesse so many things to tell her, but in the end he realized that it wasn't his place anymore. He had lost any rights to her when she _chose_ to leave.

Never before had a woman crawled under his skin like Shalimar had. Becky had been his first love, but even the emotions that he felt for her paled in comparison to what he felt for Shalimar. Sadly he and Shalimar had never even been as close physically. 

Looking up to the heavens he prayed to any power that would listen to give him a second chance. 

A shooting star lit overhead before disappearing into the atmosphere.

* * *

_I want to apologize for the slow rate of progress.� I have been trying to come up with a good way of getting them together.� Hopefully the next chapter will start to pull all the strings together and lead towards some good interactions. I've got a few plans for what is going to happen so cross your fingers!  
_

**_Special thanks to:_**

_**Jess **- Thank you so much.� I'm really glad that you like it.� I've had a few ideas for what is going to happen on the first meeting, unfortunately its going to take another chapter or so.� Don't worry I'll try to make it worth the wait!_

_**Rachel **- I'm sorry its taking so long to get them together, but the plot isn't working as quickly as I originally intended.� Hopefully it will speed up in the next few chapters. I promise that I'll try to make it worth while!_

_**Emma **- Hope I didn't hit the angst too hard.� I have some plans for good stuff in the future.� Thanks for sending the review.� Look forward to what you think is going to happen!  
�_


	7. Making Up

_Woo Hoo! I got another update. That has got to be a record for me lately. Okay good news. The story is going to start moving a little faster now I hope._

_This chapter is dealing with a lot of stuff and there is a lot of Jesse, Lexa, and Brennan in this chapter so I hope you like it. It's unbeta'd and I'm currently searching for a beta because mine have been really busy as of late, and I don't want to burden them any more. So anyone interested feel free to PM me!_

_Alright all the rest of the stuff is at the end of the chapter._

* * *

**_Chapter 7 - Making Up_**

* * *

"Well the good news is that all of your hard work wasn't a bust." Keith said as Shalimar walked into the office drying her hair. She was so glad to get the remnants of the blood, dirt, and grime off of her.

Keith eyed her arm with the knife wound. Her dark blue tank almost matched the colors her skin was turning around the pierced area.

Shalimar sighed before pulling the med kit out and handing it to Keith. He grabbed her hand wordlessly and pulled her into the living room and motioned for her to sit on the couch before turning on a few more lights.

"It's really not that bad, Keith." Shalimar said, trying to avoid wincing as he began to dab the disinfectant on the wound.

He looked at her with a humorless grin. "Just placate me then."

She sighed and gave up her argument. He had tended to several of her wounds by now and she realized that it was something that he needed to do. Biting her lip to avoid hissing as the sting of the antiseptic set in she patiently waited while he finished with the butterfly closures to keep the scarring to a minimal.

His lips lightly traced the top of her shoulder and almost caused her to jump out of her skin. Working his way up the side of her neck he reached for her face and pulled her in for a languid kiss. It rapidly spiraled out of control and Shalimar felt herself give into his attentions. Eyes fluttering shut as he caressed her body and she reached out to touch his.

* * *

Jesse and Lexa made their way to the ranger station the next morning. Thinking about how to get away with their plan Jesse had completely missed Lexa's last words. To be honest he wasn't even aware that she spoke until she elbowed him in the side and looked pointedly in his direction.

"What?" was all he could stammer as hazel eyes turned icy.

"I asked if you have given any thought to what we should do." She huffed before continuing down the road.

"I don't know, but it's getting old just sitting around and waiting for something to happen." He felt like they had this discussion a lot lately.

Lexa huffed. "Let's take a look at the board and see what it says. We can go from there. How long do you need?" Mischief sparkled in the depths of her eyes.

Jesse couldn't help but wonder if it was for him or if she was looking forward to flirting with the ranger some more. Trying to push aside the jealousy he contemplated her question. "At least ten minutes should be good."

As they rounded the corner by the station Jesse took to the trees and came around the back of the structure. He watched as Lexa almost sashayed up to the man and began to banter with him. The jealous voice in the back of his head seemed to have increased in volume. He looked away from the display that was making his blood boil and phased into the building.

Finding the connection he plugged in the laptop and began to download the latest messages and composed his note to Shalimar. He figured that tomorrow would be good. It would take him a little while to reach the establishment on the outskirts of town. Luckily the park office was attached to a small diner and he was hoping to be able to hitch a ride from someone heading into town. It had worked all the previous times in the past when they had needed to go and get supplies.

Lexa's soft laugh broke through his thoughts and he chanced a glance out the window to see her touching and smiling a soft smile at the taller man. Gritting his teeth he went back to work and completed his files. Phasing out the back and walking back to the other side of the bend he sat on a stump and waited for Lexa to join him.

* * *

The fake smile broke from her face as soon as she walked away from the man. Flirting was always second nature to her. Sex appeal was what she was good at, even if she hated it with a passion. She had seen Jesse look out the window at her and had immediately begun to paw at the ranger… Jim… Jack… Whatever his name was… Risking Jesse being spotted wasn't something that would work. Charming the block-headed ranger was the only thing she could do without being too obvious. Of course that included her having to accept a breakfast invitation from the bastard. Thinking about blowing him off was the first thought, but she couldn't if she wanted to keep using him for information and access.

Turning the corner she was met with a dejected looking Jesse sitting on a stump at the side of the dirt road. His entire countenance screamed distress, but she didn't know what to tell him. Their relationship had been so rocky for the past few months that she wasn't sure if it was worth pursuing. That or she was just being a chicken. Her ego decided to avoid the latter thought.

Walking up to his side she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ready?"

The depths of the blue eyes that pierced though her soul almost caught her off guard. Pain, rejection, and some other emotion she couldn't name filled the azure orbs. As quickly as he had looked up he turned away and stood then began walking down the road leaving her to fall instep behind him.

* * *

Honey brown eyes cracked open as sunlight filled the room and warmed her face. Shalimar stretched languidly and closed her eyes snuggling back into the warmth of the embrace holding her from behind. Looking over her shoulder her eyes fell upon chestnut colored hair and confusion swarmed her for a moment. Reality set in quickly and she realized that she was in bed with Keith.

The dream had been so strange. She was lying in a forest looking up at the stars. The clearing that they were laying in provided soft grass as a bed. Why had she dreamed of mahogany eyes and dark hair?

This was the way madness lie. Sighing, she gently removed Keith's arm from her waist and tossed on a robe to ward off the chill of the morning. She needed time to dissect her thoughts.

Cup of coffee in hand she sat on the fire escape and watched as the morning commute began. Watching all of the people getting ready to start their day made her glad that she didn't have to go back to work for a few more days. A twinge from her right upper arm reminded her of another reason that not working at the dojo would be a good idea.

When she was finished her cup of coffee she decided to check the message boards. It had been a fight with herself over the past few days not to run and check them every five minutes. She could only hope that someone would get back to her.

Sitting in front of the computer she brought up the screen and began to search the posts. Most was all the same; lost New Mutants looking for assurances that they weren't alone. She only wished that she could assure them of such. Right now she would sell her motorcycle for a shred of hope.

That's when her eyes landed on the post. It was buried in with others of non-descript origin but she could swear that it was meant for her. It was simply labeled Shadowfox. Her heart was in her throat and her hand was shaking as she clicked on the post. There were silent tears that streamed down her cheeks as she found the first sign that her team, her friends, her family were alive and reaching out to her.

_Shadowfox,_

_The place with the best cherry pie. Tuesday at one._

It was signed Kilo. Shalimar had to laugh at the name. Jesse and she had come up with code names so long ago. Hers had come easy, but his had been painstaking. In the end he resigned to her suggestion of Kilo because of his weight change ability. He had hated it, but it had been the best of all of them.

She would have to wait until tomorrow but she would be able to see him. She had until then to get some information together. Going there empty handed was not an option. They might not want her help anymore, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to try.

* * *

Brennan watched through narrowed eyes as Jesse stomped back into camp and plopped unceremoniously onto the log by the dying embers of the fire. A rather pissed off Lexa followed the younger man a few minutes later. If the tension wasn't quite so thick he would have been tempted to laugh at the couple who were acting like teenagers.

As it was he was fighting with immature impulses of his own. Deep down he knew that Jesse was the most logical choice to send for a rendezvous with Shalimar. Jesse had been right when he said that Brennan might lose his temper or say things that could damage one of the only reliable sources they had left. A petulant part of him didn't care.

"Hey," Jesse said now moving to sit next to him.

Brennan was startled that he had been so absorbed in his own childish thoughts that he hadn't even heard Jesse cross the site to sit next to him on the table. He raised a brow at Jesse and looked pointedly toward the direction which Lexa had stormed off.

The blonde's smirk didn't meet his eyes. "Would you leave it alone if I said it was nothing?"

Huffing at the question, Brennan sighed before speaking. "Do you think it's wise to piss her off that much before we might have a way of getting out of here?"

Jesse's posture immediately took on a defensive nature as he sat back and folded his arms across his chest. "I just said the truth. It's not my fault she doesn't care about anyone's feelings but her own."

Brennan could only raise and eyebrow and hope that Jesse expanded on the rather vague reference. Lexa had never been very considerate of others. Granted she had gotten a lot better over time, but she had taken to a lot of her old defensive habits lately. The problem was that it was just causing more tension between what was left of their team.

Jesse sighed and slumped. "I still care about her. It's tough to watch her go so willingly to other guys and fawn all over them. I know that whatever we had isn't like it was, but I can't help but feel like there is still this spark between us."

Brennan could only frown at his friend. Sadly he knew the feeling. Unrequited love was a bitch. He had to admit that he was more inclined to believe that Lexa was just being defensive because she was out of her element and trying to keep a hold of her sanity. Everything she knew and was had a major upheaval and now instead of living a life of relative comfort she was stuck here with two guys roughing it in a forest.

The woman in question returned from the direction of the bathhouse and made her way toward them. Her eyes were avoiding Jesse's and out of the corner of his eye, Brennan could see Jesse staring at her unabashedly until she stopped in front of them and lifted her face.

"Are you going to try to take a look over the messages today?" Lexa's voice held a note of uncertainty and she was looking anywhere but Jesse.

"Yeah, I'll get to it soon." Jesse's voice was soft, but the pain from the earlier confession still tainted his voice.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Brennan said jumping to his feet and taking a hard look at each of his friends in turn. "If you guys won't mention the blue elephant in the room then I guess I'm going to have to!"

Two cries of 'Huh' and 'What' met him before he grabbed Lexa's arm and moved her to sit on the table next to Jesse.

"Now that I have your attention," Brennan began. "You both need to get your shit together and stop acting like the cast from some stupid teenage drama!"

It would have been hysterical to anyone else who knew the story to sit and watch the startled expressions of the man and woman seated at the table being berated by their friend. The sheer fact that Brennan could be more immature then both of them hadn't escaped his attention, but the friction had eaten away at him until he couldn't take it anymore. He had little left that he cared about now and he wasn't about to lose what little he had left, not without a fight.

"Jesse, have you tried to talk to Lexa about what you were telling me?"

A shake of his head was the only answer the younger man could form.

"Lexa, for all that's holy, could you stop pushing the only people left in your life away? I mean hell, what do we have left if not each other?"

Lexa's startled expression began to take on a peevish look and as she opened her mouth Brennan cut her off continuing with his tirade.

"No, we're it for right now." A soft prayer in his soul went out that it was a lie and soon they would have one more with them. "I know that you care about Jesse. I see the way you look at him, and I want to know what the problem is if you let your guard down just a little to let him in! What are you trying to prove? We know that you are a survivor. You don't have to prove anything to us."

Jesse had a small expression of triumph cross his features only to have it stricken at Brennan's next words to him.

"Jess, you need to get over some of the shit that Lexa does. She has been able to get you into that damn shack so that you can get everything uploaded and find out what's going on. It's the name of the fucking game. We are doing what we have to do." Brennan took a few steps away then turned around to the stunned faces. "I'm going for a walk. When I get back could you make sure that I don't need my knife to cut through the damn tension!" With that he almost ran from the campsite.

For a few minutes nothing was said as Jesse and Lexa could only stare in shock at the display from their, as of late, reserved friend and watched his retreating form. A few minutes later Lexa began to giggle and Jesse followed with a barking laugh until both of them were leaning against each other laughing harder then they had in weeks.

They knew that they had a lot to discuss but just maybe they could make a few repairs.

* * *

It was after dark when Brennan returned to camp to find Lexa and Jesse seated by the fire sharing a cup of coffee. He refrained from smirking that at least he had been able to do something right. All thoughts of relaxing were flown out the window at Jesse's serious expression and words.

"I told her about tomorrow. We're all going."

* * *

_OMG! I haven't had a good cliffie in a while and missed it so much! So I'm hoping that I'll have the next chapter up soon. Feel free to harass me._

_I'm so sorry to all of the S/B fans, but I didn't go into detail with the S/K scene for that reason. But you have to remember that they are still a couple and that they do care for each other.  
_

_**Emma **- You'll find out what happened to the meeting soon enough. I promised a bumpy ride, and trust me, you'll probably need a seatbelt! I did try to make a connection b/w Shal and Bren in this chapter. Small I know, but I hope it was adequate. I hope you liked the interaction in the chapter. I wanted to get the J/L thing rolling before too much more. Thanks for the review and I hope you like the chapter!_

_**Clare **- Thanks so much for the review. Usually my stuff reads faster, but I've been trying to put some extra info into this story which is slowing it down. I hope that the next few chapters start to speed up. Hope you enjoy it!  
_


	8. Behind Closed Doors

_OMG, I'm sooooo sorry this took so long to get out. Between work and this chapter not flowing right I felt like it would never get there. I had most of it done at one point and had to redo it because I couldn't stand the way it read. I hope you can appreciate that I'd rather give you quality. _

_Thanks so much for all the reviews, your notes are at the bottom._

_**AN Note - **I couldn't remember when exactly the expiration dates came up in the show and didn't have time to go through the third season again to figure it out (that and my stupid DVD player decided that it wanted to call it quits.) So I'm going with the assumption that Shalimar had never been fully briefed on the expiration dates, she's heard of them but nothing substantial._

* * *

_**Chapter 8 - Behind Closed Doors**_

* * *

.

.

Shalimar looked to the screen and sighed for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. Keith glanced over his shoulder at her and offered a placating grin. Her attempts to return it failed miserably.

"Why don't you go work out?" He finally offered as she readjusted her position.

Shooting him a wry glance she conceded. "Alright I'll leave you alone to look over the stuff."

As she went to slide off the counter Keith grabbed her wrist. "Why are you so nervous? You have known them for years. How could they not forgive you?"

A sigh erupted from her lips as she wrestled with the words. "I don't know if they will be happy to see me. For all I know they could hate me for leaving them. I don't think Jesse will be too angry, Lexa will probably be bitchy," she paused before taking a deep breath and admitting a little more of her feelings then she had planned on exposing to Keith. "But I'm really worried about what Brennan will say or do. Things were… strained when I left."

"Were you in love with him?" Keith's blunt statement shocked her. She turned wide brown eyes to look at him and was saddened to see him avoiding her face as he looked intently at the computer screen, his cheeks taking on a slightly pink hue.

Reaching out and grabbing his chin, gently she turned his head to face her. His eyes held a saddened expression but his mouth was set firm.

"Keith, it was different and complicated between him and me. We were close, but there were a lot of things… Ugh, it wasn't like that." She finished, aggravated that she couldn't put into words the feelings that she felt toward the dark-haired elemental.

He turned away for a moment seemingly staring through the wall before he spoke. "I don't know how it was, but I do know how frustrating, annoying, painful, and crazy it can be to love someone." Shaking his head he placed a gentle finger to her lips to hold back her argument as he stood to look at her fully. "But I also remember that there isn't anything I wouldn't give to have it back." She saw the pain of the ghosts that haunted him flicker through his eyes.

"What we have is great and enjoyable. I don't want to lose you, and I won't just stand-by and let you leave out of a sense of duty. But if you tell me that you want something else… Well I care enough for you that I want you to be happy." He finished his words with a gentle kiss that was more of a caress to her lips.

She felt the tears well in her eyes and wanted nothing more then to say in all honesty that she loved him. Forcing the words to come wasn't what he wanted to hear though. Her lips were barely able to softly whisper a thank you before she felt him pull away. She receded and started out of the room, but when she looked back his pensive face staring once again at the screen.

Walking away she went to her perch on the roof and watched the city. Looking down at the people scurrying to and fro she had to wonder if she would ever fit into this everyday life. Coming from a family that had more then its fair share of problems, one of them being her, she used to daydream about finding a home and a stable life. Since she had broken out of the mental hospital and been taken under Adam's wing she hadn't had those thoughts. The life that she lived while she was with Mutant X had been what her mind subconsciously yearned for.

The sun was growing low in the sky as she sat contemplating her thoughts. A few pigeons landed near her on the ledge and she watched as they picked at the pebbles on the ground before she moved her legs and startled them away. Looking to the gold and pink hues of the sunset she decided that her meeting tomorrow with the members of Mutant X was going to happen. Now she just had to see if she could find enough information to help save Adam.

Before she even turned the door knob she heard Keith's voice in a tone that she could only describe as a happy laugh. It put a smile on her face to see him happy. Hopefully he had been successful. Turning the knob and opening the door she found Keith moving quickly toward her with a grin on his face.

"I found it," was all he said before he pulled her arm to lead her back to the office.

She felt confusion for a moment before her brain kicked into gear. "You mean you found information about the Dominion?"

"It's amazing, but if I didn't work for them I would have never known the connections. I finally get to put some of this to good use!" He was elated.

Shalimar could barely contain herself as she looked over the information on the screen. It really made no sense to her. "Keith, I think you need to explain this to me."

"Damn, I'm sorry Shal. It took me a while to understand it, but I'll sum it up for you so you can meet the guys tomorrow and have some good news."

"Great, let's get started!"

"Okay, this disk actually contains the behind-the-scenes information per-say. I don't know how the Senator got it but this has a ton of names and links of corruption within the Dominion. It's amazing that no one else has caught on, or they have and that is the reason that there were always disappearances." He stopped to take a breath and pulled the pages out of the printer.

Walking into the living room with the printout he started pacing as he began to read off the names and the connections. "This guy Robert Leer, he is the CEO of Bio-dynamic over on Fifth Avenue. He had been feeding Mason Eckhart all kinds of information over the years, but non of it tied into the Dominion directly so they didn't prosecute him too heavily, he's still involved in the thick of things from the way it looks. He kept his title, wife, mistress, and three houses.

Shalimar gasped as she realized all of the funding and information that was available to Mutant X and Adam had also been available to Mason. It was scary to think how close they were to being compromised.

Keith placed a gentle hand on her shoulder before continuing. "This here," he held up the paperwork. "This actually links him to Jared Laller who is on the Dominion's council. Nothing happens without their say-so. At least that's what they tell people." He sat next to her on the couch.

"Jared was one of the people pushing for my work to be done and also a way to re-engineer cells for an increased healing rate. The problem with his plan was that it also shortened the life span exponentially.

"He is shown here to have ties to a possible assassination attempt on the Creator around a few weeks ago. Shal, this is probably the man who would have the most information on what happened to Adam and the Creator." Keith looked tired, but his eyes were brimming with excitement.

Shalimar had to wonder if he was happy to pay back the Dominion for all of the rotten things they did to him and his family or if he was excited that they finally had useable information. She was pretty sure that it was a cross between the two.

A smile crossed her lips as she looked over his shoulder. "So what else is on there?"

Keith gave her the basic run down of the rest of the information including the one place that he thought would be the best place to look for both Adam and the Creator. Going through all of the holding companies was relatively easy because most had just been fronts with no real ties to any holdings. The major businesses were narrowed down to Bio-Dynamics, which was run by Robert Leer; Chemelab which was run by Christian Spellacy, whose wife, Tori, was a major player in the Dominion council; Geneffects and their joint owners of James Trent and Arnold Granz; and St. Marta's Burn Center which was under contract by a woman named Virginia Mayson.

Bio-Dynamics was an operational holding company and worked on government contracts. Chemelab was much the same. Geneffects was the one company that had started the original pilot-program of fetal genetics. These companies were ruled out as viable places to hide anyone due to the constant traffic of employees and customers.

The last on the list had been a strange addition. The Burn Center was closed down but still showed a cycle of funds being funneled into it. St. Marta's Burn Center was only twenty minutes away and both Shalimar and Keith had driven past it before and noticed the construction fences and the signs closing it off to the public. This was the one that needed investigating.

As they looked at the last of the information Keith let out a sigh and scanned the last page as Shalimar all but vibrated with excitement. A gasp crossed his lips and he looked at her sadly.

"What? Are you tired from all your work?" Shalimar asked with a smile and a kiss to his forehead. "I'll make us some dinner."

Keith's hand grabbing hers stopped her from moving. "Shal, there was something else on there that I wasn't expecting."

"What? I mean it can't be that bad right?" Shalimar said as trepidation crept into her voice.

He stood and met her eyes then guided her back down onto the couch. Kneeling in front of her, Keith took on a perplexed look as he looked deep into her sable eyes. "I can't say it." He said and held out the last sheet. "You need to look for yourself."

He stood then sat back down next to her as she shakily grabbed the paper. She hesitated and he stood again before walking to the kitchen and grabbing two beers.

Noticing his state Shalimar looked to the paper where she saw a list of names. A few lines down, hers was listed and next to it was a date that was only two weeks away. Looking over the rest of the list she found Jesse's name had a date that had passed almost a month ago. Brennan's was listed but the date wasn't for another year and Lexa's was in six months.

She lifted her eyes to catch Keith's as he downed the second bottle of beer. "What are these dates?"

A cynical laugh rumbled out of his lips before he tilted his head back and finished off the second bottle, never breaking eye contact with her. When he was finished he opened the refrigerator and grabbed two more before leaning against the island to look at her dead on. "You mean he never told you?"

His question was as startling, as were his actions. "What do you mean Keith? I'm not sure what is going on here." She felt flustered and confused. Usually she would rather pound out the problems, but hitting Keith wasn't any kind of solution right now.

Taking another hard pull on his beer and he walked toward her and knelt down. His hands slightly skimmed her face and he looked hard into her eyes. She could see the alcohol had started to take effect already as his pupils were dilating. His hand reached around her neck and he pulled her close to kiss her. She accepted it and tasted the slightly bitter tang of the beer and the residual taste of the gum he chewed earlier. His tongue swept her mouth and she felt as if he was trying to join with her. The kiss didn't last long but held an emotional rollercoaster, with emotions flowing through her. She could feel his yearning, fear and a caring all poured into her as he clutched her tightly.

When he broke away he rested his forehead against hers, only then did he speak. "It's the expirations of the New Mutants living in the area." His voice was husky and she could smell the tears welling in his eyes.

Part of her rebelled against the idea, but another part realized that what he was saying was true. It was something that wasn't discussed with Adam, but they had all heard it at one point or another. She had only figured that Adam had reconfigured their DNA to avoid it happening.

"I'm sorry, Shal." Keith said brokenly and pulled her tight against his chest.

Thoughts whirled though her mind as she realized the implications and why Keith was acting like this. He still hadn't completely gotten over his wife dying and now there was a death sentence hanging over her own head. She felt the tears well but not fall as she clutched tightly to him. There had to be a way…

A thought struck her like a bolt of lightning and she almost jumped out of Keith's grasp. Jesse, he was still alive. She knew because no one else knew their code names. His date was almost a month prior and he still sent her the message.

"Keith, Jesse's still alive." She sputtered as she stood up.

He looked confused for a moment before looking back at the paper and realization dawned in his eyes. "Do you think?"

She shook her head, "I'm not sure, but he's still alive. I know it and maybe I can find out more tomorrow as to why."

* * *

A tired group approached the diner at 12:30 in the afternoon. Lexa had found them an older warehouse that still had most of the utilities. They spend the night in the loft and had a chance to clean up at least. Jesse looked between her and Brennan as they walked slightly in front of him. He wasn't sure how today was going to happen, but he was hoping that it went as smooth as possible. The ride they had been on so far was not a fun one.

It had been decided that he would meet with Shalimar while the other two stood look out. For safety sake he had wired a few radios and an ear bud transmitter for himself so that they could communicate. He looked to both of his companions and nodded as they departed a few blocks away from the diner.

Walking the back alley alone he had time to think about everything. Mostly his thoughts were consumed with Lexa. After Brennan's tirade they had talked, and he realized that they were all in the same situation. It came down to them all being scared, although Lexa wouldn't admit that if her life depended on it. The realization was a good one though. It led to a long talk about what had happened and where they were going.

Lexa knew how to work a man, room, or audience, but he had hoped that she was being genuine. They wound up getting closer that night. There were no profound revelations for either party. They both knew they were attracted to each other, but now they just had to figure out what to do with it. Of course Lexa wanted nothing to do with a relationship, but Jesse was nothing if persistent.

That persistence had earned him some quality time with his favorite brunette last night. They were cautious, even though they knew that Brennan didn't care and probably already thought as much, but it was still a little odd feeling. He was soundly reminded of high school and sneaking into closets and locker rooms. A little thrilling, but he knew that it would wear off quickly.

Approaching the diner he felt apprehension coil in his stomach. It had been a while since he had worked a mission alone. That's exactly how this felt, and one small mess up could mean the not only his life but the lives of his dearest friends. "Just like riding a bike," he whispered to himself as he approached the door and swung it open.

* * *

She knew that this was unconventional, but she needed to blow off some steam and fear. Judging the length of the next alleyway she pounded across the rooftop and sprung off of the guard-wall to leap to the next building.

She had been a few blocks away from her apartment with Keith when reality crashed into her again. It felt more like a panic attack, but suddenly the streets were making her claustrophobic. She needed air and to get away from the crowds. She had scaled a fire escape a few buildings back and decided to run and jump off some of her anxiety.

Looking down on the street below she could see the café a few blocks ahead. There was a small and usually deserted alley a block and a half over that she could use to rejoin the foot traffic. Making the last few leaps she reached the alley and slid down the fire escape, passing a little boy with dark hair and eyes playing with his trucks on the window sill. As her feet hit the landing he jumped back and dropped one of his trucks. Lightning quick reflexes allowed her to grab it and hand it back to him.

"Careful there little man." She said as she glided the rest of the way down only to hear the boy yelling for his mother telling her that a pretty lady had climbed down the side of the building.

Her smile was quickly reduced to a frown as she realized that she had never put much thought into children. She had always figured that she would have one when she was ready. If the paperwork was right though, she wouldn't have a chance to be ready. She tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that if she died at least she wouldn't be leaving a child behind.

It still wasn't comforting.

The diner was in front of her as she shook the thoughts from her head and made herself more aware of her surroundings. She couldn't see any of the old team outside, but a feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that Brennan was around. She wasn't sure where, but the old feeling told her that he wasn't far. Walking forward she grabbed the door handle and hoped that all went well with the meeting.

* * *

_First I know it was a little Shal/Keith intense, but I was trying to go from the standpoint that he had lost his wife and now his girlfriend doesn't have long to live._

_Ok, here's the deal, I was going to include the meeting in this chapter, but I'm running out of time and I would rather have gotten this out now. So next chapter will be the meeting! Dun, Dun, Dun... Hmmm how should it go?? Any requests? And no Bren and Shal are not going to fall into each others arms before any of you complain. I'm a mistress of angst, but I promise there will be a little fluff involved!_

* * *

_**Clare **- I'm so glad that you found the story and started reading. I apologize for the delay. I hope that the chapter makes up for some of it.  
_

_**Rachel **- I know I know it's about damn time. I have taken a lot of what we talked about before into consideration for the next chapter though! Talk to you soon!_

_**Emma **- Thank you for hounding me to finish this chapter. I was at a point a few weeks ago where I wanted to throw it out the window. LOL. But I persisted. I'm sorry no S/B in this chapter. Like I said I wanted to make sure that it was up and that would have been really involved. I did try to hint onto the dark haired, dark eyed child though... hope you caught that. Also thank you so much for the detailed review. I promise a lot more Brennan in the next chapter._

_**Anon**- I'm working on it I promise. I refuse to give up until it is done._

'Til next time


	9. Together Again

_Okay, so is everyone ready to faint in surprise? I got 2 chapters out in a week! Holy crap!_

_The truth is that I messed up my back and I'm out of work. So I've been trying to write more instead of watching the walls because I can't do much. So as a present to all of those who reviewed, added me to their update lists, and just plain ol' read the story, this is my thanks._

_Review notes are at the end.  
_

.

.

_**AN:** At long last... If the title doesn't tell all then I'm not giving anything else away! Chapter 10 is currently in production so keep an eye out for it! Special thanks to Emma for looking this over and finding some of my goofs! Thanks so much girly!  
_

* * *

_**Chapter 9 - Together Again**_

* * *

.

.

He saw her as she entered the diner. He had forgotten how brightly her hair shown in the sunlight. It had only been a few months and it felt like he hadn't seen her in years. A part of him wished that he could run from his hiding place and grab her into an encompassing hug while another part of him wanted to run away in fear of what might happen when she finally saw him again.

Shalimar turned and Brennan could see that she was scouting the street. He was pretty sure that she knew he was there and what direction, but was almost positive she couldn't see him. The shadows falling on the building were ideal for him to look out unseen while seeing all that the area had to offer.

Did she still sense him like she used to? His mind thought back to that conversation and the events that happened with Nicki briefly. He had sided with Shalimar because he was weary of Nicki. It happened that his hunch was right. He had felt stupid not to follow his gut instinct at the time. He had listened to everyone else and tried to believe in her. Then they found out she wanted to kill Shalimar… He had never been more thankful for Shalimar's strength. He'd wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly that evening. He still remembered the way her hair smelled.

Lexa's voice on the radio cut through his thoughts. _"Jesse she's here_. _Do you see anyone else sparky?"_

A quick glance up and down the street ensured that no one had snuck past his guard. He murmured his negative and continued to keep watch. If all went well they were all going to meet at the warehouse in half an hour. Brennan and Lexa would bring up the rear with Jesse leading Shalimar to their temporary abode.

So far all looked clear, but he knew that looks could be deceiving so he kept a sharp eye out for anything that looked suspicious while he debated over what might happen when he finally met the blond beauty once more.

* * *

Pulling the door open Shalimar scanned the diner to identify the patrons and any changes that had been made since the last time she was here. It had been over a year but the set-up remained the same as ever. She hadn't been here in a long time and it bore some pleasant and unpleasant memories at the same time.

Over the din of the late lunch rush she saw a man seated in the back sporting a tan baseball cap. As she entered his azure eyes met hers. A smile crept across her mouth and she walked to the back booth to meet him. As she came close he bowed his head but stood and surrounded her form in a tight embrace. She returned it in equal fervor.

His murmured words of missing her were caught only because of her feral hearing. She kissed him soundly on the cheek and then allowed him to seat her across from him. The emotions flowed between them without need for words. After living together for so long sometimes words just got in the way. She could read his anxiety and caution, but she could as easily see his happiness and cheerful disposition.

She did a quick once over of him and noticed that he had lost some weight and his hair was slightly longer then he had let it been. The tan that stretched over his skin only served to amplify the blue in his eyes. He didn't look bad, but just slightly worn.

"I ordered you a coffee." He said looking around again. "I hope that's alright?"

"It's fine." She said and felt her smile widen. "I'm surprised you didn't order me pie!"

He let out a laugh before answering. "I guess we could do that."

When the waitress brought their coffees they both ordered a slice of cherry pie. The waitress departed and Shalimar leaned in close. She could smell a mixture of his and Lexa's scents mingled on his skin.

"I guess you are doing well without me." Shalimar said with a wink.

Jesse's face blushed slightly, knowing her implication. "It was rough for a while, but things are starting to look up." His face dropped to a more serious expression. "We miss you."

A thought shot through her as she realized that maybe it would have been better if they never knew. She only had two weeks to find out if she would survive, and if she didn't it would be that much harder on them. She wasn't going to burden them with that now. Maybe she could tell them tomorrow, but for now she wanted to just enjoy the feeling of her old friends.

Trying to shake away the melancholy she forced a smile. "I know, because I did too. Do you have a place?"

"Yeah we'll head over after we've eaten."

The waitress returned with their pie and coffee. The conversation between the two was light and easy banter. They were still aware that they were in a public forum and did not want to speak of anything heavy or pertaining to what was going on while in such an open area.

When they were done Shalimar paid for the check with a smirk at Jesse and they made their way out. He led her down the vacant alley. Shalimar let her feral senses kick in and keep alert for anything out of the ordinary. They walked about ten blocks before coming up to the docks where there were abandon buildings and warehouses. The vagrants where searching around for anything of value but stopped momentarily to look uncertainly at the two people dressed in still fairly clean clothes. The wanderers gave a quick perusal over them before they resumed their trash search.

Jesse led her to an old green-tin-paneled building that had a door on the side. The lock and chain were still present but Jesse simply placed his hand on the wall and exhaled causing the area by the door to shimmer and Shalimar entered followed by her friend. A quick sweep of the place showed that it had been an abandon storage facility. There were a few crates and pallets stacked around and there seemed to be a staircase at the back of the building leading to a loft.

"Lexa and Brennan will be here in a few minutes. I have to wait to let them in." Jesse said softly.

Butterflies suddenly began to flutter in her stomach as she realized how nervous she was about being together with the whole team once more. She could do little more then nod and slowly walk around the warehouse floor and try to settle her nerves before the other two arrived.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught Jesse watching her. His expression bordered on adoration and idolization one might have toward an older sibling. He had no clue of the respect she had for him. He had surpassed all of the trials life put him through to make it this far, and she was proud of the man that he had become.

A knock at the door interrupted her musings and she heard a series of raps in a staccato beat. She looked at Jesse and smiled as he phased the wall to allow entrance.

Lexa entered first and Brennan followed directly behind her, they couldn't have been more then five yards away from where she stood. She couldn't help but notice immediately that both were in much the same state that Jesse presented to her. Their clothes were not as clean and kept as before and Brennan's hair was almost back to the length it was when she first met him. Both of them sported hollows under their eyes, though Brennan's seemed deeper some how.

She shot them a smile and watched as they nodded to her. She felt her heart slightly break at the lack of reaction from Brennan. He seemed almost unaffected by her leaving, actually it was worse. In the past he had always been tactile with her, holding her hand, hugging her and reaching for closeness. The vibes that he put off now just screamed at her to keep her distance.

"Why don't we go upstairs and talk?" Jesse said as he looked to each in turn.

Shalimar could only nod and follow the others to the staircase. Once they arrived in the loft she saw that they had some possessions with them but not nearly enough to survive on. Most of the stuff had been splayed haphazardly, leading her to believe that they hadn't been here long enough to create any organization.

Finding a few crates to sit on they all created a small circle to talk. Shalimar took a crate next to Jesse and noticed that Lexa sat to his other side. Brennan remained standing against the wall opposite her. His eyes occasionally scanned her and she felt a shiver from what she thought was a heated glare, but when she looked up at him, he had looked away.

"So now that you found us Shal, what do you need?" Lexa's terse words confirmed the feeling that Shalimar originally had. Lexa was mad and it was going to take a while for her to gain any trust from the light bender.

Taking a deep breath she decided to start with the facts. Hopefully with some of the information she had found, it might grant her some reprieve. "Well, Adam was in contact with me up until about two or three weeks ago. He kept close tabs on Keith and I and we've been doing a lot of work in the Underground."

She didn't miss the momentary look of hurt that crossed Brennan's face at the mention of Keith, nor did she miss the narrowed glare shot at her by Lexa.

Picking up her chin she continued on. "So needless to say that when he went missing I got freaked out, and basically we've been searching for any clue of Adam's whereabouts and I've been trying to track you guys down to make sure you were alright.

"I've gotten a hold of some information that may lead us to Adam and this guy called the Creator. Keith was vague about him because he only knew what he had heard. He's never met the man, so our information was limited. But I think that we have found the place where Adam is being held. If not him, there will be something of importance there." She looked up into their faces. Jesse looked borderline happy, Lexa had on her trademark scowl and Brennan had schooled his features into a neutral mask.

"How do you know that your source hasn't been corrupted?" Lexa asked shortly.

Shalimar sighed. "I'm not positive, but she has been friends with Adam-"

"Oh well that's great. That will save us all, after all of the lies and half-truths that Adam has told us, we just need to put our blind faith in someone who might not be playing for the wrong team." Brennan cut her off. She could see the barely restrained fury in his gaze.

"Brennan, Lexa, that's enough; at least let's hear her out." Jesse stood up and cut the other two off. He shot Shalimar an apologetic look. "Go on."

She took a deep breath and concentrated on what she needed to get out. "Before Adam left he told me that he was going back to Sanctuary. I thought that if anything major would happen he would have let me know." She breathed out a sigh of frustration. "Obviously he didn't. But he did leave us some crucial information to use if he was compromised.

"He knew who he could still count on and left us a list of names. Most of which had no information to give or we were unable to find. That is until I ran across the name of an old friend. I found someone who owed the team as much as she owed Adam." Taking a moment to look to Brennan she met his eyes and continued. "You remember Megan Morrison?"

Brennan took a sharp breath before nodding. She could see that he understood what she was saying now.

"I managed to contact Senator Morrison. She is in the thick of things but managed to get me some information. None of it is direct links until we knew what to look for. It was lucky that Keith was in the Dominion employ for as long as he was. He was able to recognize a lot of the names and holding companies. We found an abandoned hospital that still has active funding. We have our suspicions that there is something going on there, we're just not sure what."

Lexa glared at Shalimar for a moment before stepping up closer to her. "What's in it for you? Why do you care after all of this time?" The tone was soft but there was an edge to the words.

Shalimar stood straight and looked into the hazel-green eyes in front of her before answering. "I never stopped caring. I still consider all of you my family." She shot Jesse a look. "Some more than others... But the fact of the matter is that I've been putting myself and Keith in harms way because I wanted to make sure you guys were safe and help you find Adam."

Lexa didn't give her ground. "Well we're alive, so you can take that off of your conscious. If that's all you had to tell us you can return to your so called 'normal life' and stay in hiding."

She felt a growl well up in her throat and had to refrain herself from punching the brunette. "If that's all I wanted I would have left you a note somewhere and you could have handled it on your own, but that isn't the case. I'm in this until the end. I know that I've made decisions that affected everyone, but I've also been a part of the team longer then you and I deserve more than your attitude."

"You left us, or did you forget that part? You haven't been camped out in some bug infested forest for the past few weeks cut off from everything and everyone. We have, and I'm not about to let you just waltz back and pretend that you didn't abandon us for some guy!" Lexa's voice was increasing in volume as she neared the end of her tirade.

Shalimar almost laughed. She wasn't sure why the situation suddenly struck her as funny but before she could stop them the words tumbled out of her mouth. "That's what really pisses you off, huh? The fact that I wasn't in the bug infested woods is bothering you that much? Do you realize how much time I've spent in the forest? Your few weeks would have been a holiday for me." She took a step closer. "Or are you just jealous that I left for someone you thought was a murderer and you hated that I proved you wrong?" She breathed out in an almost hiss.

The punch was coming and she knew it. Ducking out of the way just in time she felt Jesse grab her from behind and lift her feet from the floor as Brennan did the same to Lexa as she cursed at Shalimar and kicked her legs in attempt to be set free.

Shalimar felt a calm steal over her and stopped struggling. "Jesse you can put me down. If it's what you guys want, I'll leave." She turned from Jesse's hold and looked to him. "I'm glad you're okay." She whispered softly before looking over a fuming Lexa's shoulder to Brennan. "I really did miss you guys."

With that she walked toward the stairs and blinked back the tears from her eyes. She refused to cry right now. She would wait until she could get away and be alone before that. The three in the loft were arguing, but she ignored it and focused on the doorway. She got there before she realized that she couldn't get out that way without Jesse's assistance. Looking up she saw some crossbeams and a few windows that were open. Without a second thought she jumped up and walked to the window.

Looking over her shoulder one last time she saw Jesse and Brennan watching her from the middle of the stairs. Neither called for her to stop so she looked out the window and sighted her landing spot before jumping, she rebounded off the opposite building and flipped to land on her feet. She wanted to run, but her feet didn't listen, they just doggedly trudged away from what was left of her team. She refused to look back even when she heard footsteps racing behind her.

"Shalimar!" It sounded like Brennan calling her name, vaguely muffled, but she didn't know why he would. He had shown that he was no longer interested in even her friendship.

"Shalimar, wait!" Stopping and turning she saw Brennan running through the side of the building. Jesse had just stepped through after him but only stood by the doorway, a resolute mask of annoyance on his face.

She could only grumble curses at her heart and her feet for stopping in a small alcove to avoid the striking sunlight and privacy from any possible passerby. Brennan had watched her step in there so she had no doubt that if he really wanted to catch her, he would follow.

* * *

From the moment he had seen her, he wasn't sure what to do. Part of him wanted to hold her tightly and never let go again. A voice in the back of his head reminded him that he no longer had that option. She was with someone else. It had been her choice to leave. That cut worse then not seeing her.

He didn't know how to handle seeing her again so he played the cold indifference card. It was the only thing he could think of to protect him and also to keep him from acting like a fool. She seemed almost hurt by his actions though.

A month or so ago, Jesse had reminded him that he had left on two separate occasions and would have probably left a third and fourth time under different circumstances. He tried to defend himself that Lorna had drugged him, and he had never been definite about leaving with Becky. Then Jesse brought up Samantha and how he had pushed Shalimar away during the whole incident. He said he knew because Shalimar cried on his shoulder about it. He didn't even have to bring up the time he left when Lexa joined or Riley and her tempting offer.

For some reason when he saw Lexa swing at Shalimar he realized that for all of the times that he had been ready to leave, Shalimar had always been a constant, even when he didn't want her to be. So why should he feel angry or jealous that he was never clearer about what she meant to him? He only had himself to blame for the state of his heart now.

When she looked into his eyes he saw her saying goodbye for a final time and realized that he didn't want to let her out of his life just yet. Seeing her for those few minutes had actually healed a part of him that he forgot was broken.

When she left they began to argue. Lexa was mad but he could only tell her that it wasn't her right. She too had abandoned Adam for a time and had more skeletons in her closet then she cared to admit. Jesse wanted Shalimar back and said that they were stronger together and needed the help. Brennan had just grabbed Jesse's arm and pulled him toward the stairs. Lexa stood at the top and huffed, he wasn't sure if she followed or not.

Getting to the middle of the stairs he looked up and saw Shalimar on the beam ready to jump out the window. She looked down at him and he could see the tears welling in her eyes. Then she jumped. He had called out her name but she was already out the window.

He and Jesse sprinted down the last few steps and ran for the door. As they arrived at the wall Jesse opened it for him to run through. It surprised him that as he looked both ways to hopefully find some sign of the direction Shalimar had taken off in, he saw her barely at the end of the block. Yelling her name once more she turned and stopped for a second then walked casually to the side of the roadway where a small alcove provided shade and some privacy.

As he rounded the corner he saw her standing to the side of the alcove. Her back was straight and her shoulders were squared. Her body language read defensive, but as he looked to her face he could see that she was trying to hold back her emotions.

It was all he could do not to fall to his knees and hold her.

She was the first to speak though. "Brennan, look, I'm sorry for showing up like this. I know I must have caused a lot of trouble and you guys don't need me. I was hoping if nothing else I could offer a safe place to stay and help the best I could." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I guess I was an idiot after all though."

Before he could think of the repercussions he pulled her into a tight hug and buried his face in her hair. That part of him that was nervous flew out the door as she wrapped her arms around him in a return gesture. Words of apology ran off of his tongue and he felt her tears soak his tee, but he didn't care. He didn't need to have her as a lover; he just needed her in his life. If only his heart could be convinced of the same.

Long moments past as they held each other and he felt their hearts race in rhythm. He didn't want to let go, but he had to tell her what he came after her for. Taking a deep breath he spoke. "Shal, we still need you." He refrained from the admission of his need. It was too much to admit out loud right now.

She looked up at him and he saw her eyes were puffy but no longer spilling tears. "I don't know, Bren. Are _all _of you sure you want me back?"

He felt a smile tug at his lips. "Lexa will come around. She's just mad because she hasn't had a decent bath and her girly comforts for a few weeks."

The laugh she gave him brightened her whole face. "Yeah, well I guess that she is a little too high maintenance to be roughing it like that."

Like that, the camaraderie they had shared before seeped back in.

* * *

Jesse watched as the dark haired elemental and the blond feral walked back toward the warehouse. His prayers had been answered in the fact that not only was she returning, but the forlorn look and posture that Brennan had adopted seemed to have disappeared.

Lexa called to him from inside the warehouse and he opened the wall to let her out.

"I'm still mad at her." She huffed.

Wrapping his arm around her waist he whispered into her ear. "You don't need to be mad. We all have made our mistakes." He turned her to look him straight in the eye. "That's the best part about family, we fight and forgive."

He could see her forcing back her smile, but it still shown in her eyes. "I wouldn't know. I've never really had a family."

Kissing her forehead and pulling her into a tight embrace he took a moment before he answered. "Yes you do. You're just too stubborn to accept it."

She reached up to kiss him on the lips, surprising him at the blatant lack of care that they were outside. "I guess that you can persuade me to come around."

He grinned back at her and looked up to see smirks of amusement on both Brennan and Shalimar's faces. Turning his attention back to the brunette in his arms he responded, "I think I might be able to do that."

* * *

The next few hours flew by for Shalimar. After they were able to sit down and actually talk, things progressed quickly. They began making plans to figure out what would happen with the information that Shalimar obtained and when they could move on it. Lexa wanted to see what supplies they would be able to obtain but the others weren't sure how to go about getting them.

They filled her in briefly on what they knew of the Creator, which was still very little, and what they had found at the Dominion headquarters. Shalimar felt a shock run through her at the thought of Adam being a clone of the Creator. And her head felt as if it were swimming as they paraphrased the last few months of their lives. A part of her rebuked herself for leaving because she had missed so much. She had very little to offer now except that she was leading a simple life with very little chance of contact with the Dominion.

Basically, staying under the radar was a bitch for the rest of the team. It had kept them from any major funds they once had available to them and they couldn't return to Sanctuary because, one: there was very little left of their previous home, and two: they weren't sure if there were traps or surveillance set up to watch for them. So if they did return it could quickly escalate into a bad situation. Shalimar was able to inform them of Devon's crew that had gone there and reported that the place was pretty much demolished.

When Shalimar offered up her and Keith's apartment the other three were skeptical, but were finally convinced when Shalimar told them about the pull out couch in the living room and the futon that was stored in her workout room. They knew that it would be tight quarters for a little while but the place was comfortable enough and had access to a secure computer which Jesse was more then a little happy for.

A quick call to Keith had informed him of the plan and he offered to prepare both the futon and the bed but laughed when she said to turn the hot water heater up because they were going to need it. He had been glad that she found them and told her he looked forward to her coming home to tell him all about what happened.

That brought her here, standing in the elevator with the three others on their way up to her floor of the building. They had made their way back through the back alleys and separating whenever possible so not to be seen in a large group. It hadn't taken long for them to arrive but a part of Shalimar's mind wouldn't stop yammering about the fact that she had actually been reunited with her family.

It didn't help that Brennan seemed to take every opportunity he could to touch her or brush against her. Ever since he held her in the alcove she noticed a drastic change. One that scared her because of her bodies willingness to accept it whole-heartedly. There had been nothing overtly sexual or even possessive about the touches but it still sent shivers up her spine and a few times she caught herself hugging a little too possessively on both he and Jesse. She chalked it up to her protective feral nature and exhilaration at seeing them both again. She was even happy to see Lexa, but they hadn't yet graduated to a hugging phase.

She couldn't help but notice how close Brennan was standing and even though she could tell that he hadn't had a decent shower in a while, his underlying scent was still the same. She wondered why he had such a sudden change of heart about her but was scared to ask. Berating herself about it was doing no good so she decided just to take what she could get.

The elevator dinged softly and the doors opened leading to their hallway. Shalimar led the way to the apartment. She had always liked it because it was on the seventh floor. There were still two floors above them, but she had found that the roof access was easy to get to from here which made her very happy.

As she arrived at the door she used her key to open the lock and found Keith in the throws of cleaning. She would have laughed if she didn't just realize what a disaster she had let the place become over the past few weeks. Clothes were scattered and there were dishes in the sink that had yet to be washed. She felt her face flush in embarrassment as she told the other three to make themselves at home while she helped Keith.

Lexa inquired about a shower and was pointed toward the bathroom. Shalimar offered some of her clothes until they had a chance to do laundry, which Lexa accepted. Shalimar couldn't help but see the slight smile that was on the brunette's face as she accepted the clothes. They were making amends. With Lexa it would just be slower than the others. It made sense because they were together for a lot less time and as far as Shalimar was concerned, any progress between them was good.

The guys took advantage or sitting back on the futon in the workout room after a half-hearted attempt to help. Keith told them to go sit down and surprisingly, that was all it took for them to sink into the soft foam of the mattress come sofa.

The rest of the evening past in an unusual fashion as Shalimar and Keith adapted to having more then just the two of them in the place and the others tried to find a comfortable routine. Lexa was as polite as anyone could expect to Keith. But they all knew that she was just sore about being proved wrong. The guys had taken showers while waiting for dinner; which had been interesting, but they had hammered out more ideas and sketchy plans for a way to get into Saint Marta's.

After dinner Jesse and Lexa offered to clean and wouldn't take no for an answer. Keith offered Jesse the computer and the information that he had found to look over once they were done. So once they finished the dishes, Lexa went and laid out on the futon in the workout room citing that they were only to wake her if there was no other choice. Jesse followed Keith into the office and Shalimar sat on the desk with Brennan looking on from the doorway.

Keith walked Jesse through the connections and findings that he and Shalimar had made.

"This company here is one of the major players." Keith said pointing to the screen.

Shalimar couldn't see too well from her angle but she assumed it was Bio-Dynamic.

Keith continued. "I was able to piece together all of these companies with their holders. If I didn't work for them I would have been lost. Our source was pretty smart in how she arranged the information for us."

"So what are these other documents?" Jesse asked as he clicked to open them.

Shalimar froze and realized a harsh truth that the excitement of the day made her forget as she heard Jesse's gasp. They were the expiration dates. In all the excitement she had completely forgotten that she had a possible two week death sentence hanging over her head. A quiet voice in the back of her head reminded her that she didn't forget but chose to ignore it.

The haunted look that Jesse shot her and the confused look that was glimmering in Keith's eyes proved that she hadn't said anything about the dates. She couldn't take anymore and dashed from the apartment.

* * *

He saw her run but he didn't know why.

Looking to Jesse and Keith he asked, "What is going on?"

Both men looked at each other with trepidation but answered before he could start yelling.

Jesse stood to face him and pointed at the computer screen. "Look for yourself Bren." His voice was hollow and it sounded like tears were welling in his throat.

The screen gave a bunch of names and dates and it took a moment for Brennan to focus on what they were exactly before comprehension kicked him in the gut. He saw Jesse's name and a date that was almost a month ago, his own name with a date almost a year in the future, Lexa's name with a date almost six months away, and then Shalimar. The date was just over two weeks from today.

"We have to do something." Jesse demanded his tone harsh and raw. "I won't stand by and let something happen to her."

"I'm sorry guys." Keith said with remorse. "I figured she had told you, but I should have known better. You would have been more adamant about finding a cure if you knew."

Brennan found it hard not to like the guy. He really did seem to care for Shalimar and had been going out of his way to help them this whole time even though he barely knew them.

"Why didn't she say anything?" Brennan felt his throat constrict around a growl.

Jesse placed a hand on his arm and looked him in the eye. "You know her Bren. She didn't want to worry us. I'm guess she didn't want to take the chance that there was nothing to do but wait and see."

"She was supposed to ask Jesse about what happened with him and why he is still alive!" Keith said in a strained tone. He looked to the blond man. "Do you know anything that can help?"

Jesse shook his head sadly. "The only person that knew what treatments were given was Adam. That's another reason why we needed to find him so badly."

"I'm going after her." Brennan felt himself say.

"Check the roof." Keith responded and added a slight smirk. "She's always hated when I followed her up there, but maybe she'll go easier on you."

Brennan half-smiled at the other man. "If you see me falling past the window you know it didn't go to well!"

With that he dashed out the door and to the end of the hall. Looking to the stairs he opened the door and took them upward two at a time. The driving impulse to see Shalimar and make sure that she was still here spurning him forward.

* * *

She looked over the lights of the city. Tears cascaded down her face but she didn't have the energy to stem their flow. Once she had gotten up here she had punched the brick on the side of the wall. It had put a sizable dent in it but caused more damage to her hand. Her knuckles were scabbing over now but the blood had caked most of her hand. Try as she might she could find no way out of her predicament without help from Adam.

The door opened behind her and she heard an intake of breath as he noticed the dent in the wall with the blood running down the mortar. Footsteps walked over to where she sat on the wall overlooking the city. She could feel the hesitance in his stance. It reminded her of the times he would come look for her at Sanctuary when she would climb to the bluff, the one that eventually became Adam and Emma's memorial.

"Shal," Brennan breathed out in a low voice. The whisper reminded her of a few weeks back when she recalled his voice from one of the last times she had heard it.

She didn't respond but slightly leaned back trusting him to be there to keep her from falling to the roof. Like before, he was. His arms wrapped gently around her at first but increased in pressure. Her throat constricted and she couldn't push the words that she wanted to say out. She wanted to tell him that she was scared and that it couldn't be true. Nothing would come so she let the tears flow freely down her face as he held her from behind and threaded his fingers through her own. She noticed that he was mindful of her injured hand.

Finally he spoke. His low rumbling voice felt like a comfort all of its own. "We'll find a way Shal. I promise you that I won't give up."

Turning on the wall she met his gaze, noticing that she was the perfect height to look eye to eye with him, and saw the fierce protectiveness and honesty reflected in his mahogany eyes. He had always been good at schooling his features, but for some reason Shalimar had always been able to read his eyes. There was something else burning in his expression. Something in his eyes that sent a fire through her. It wasn't lust per se but it also wasn't the lack of it.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." She couldn't move her gaze from his. Her head moved slightly forward on its own accord.

He broke the trance with a shake of his head and pulled her into an embrace as he picked her up off of the wall and held her with her feet slightly dangling above the ground. She giggled softly as she had forgotten how tall he was.

Wrapping her legs around him she hugged him tightly and whispered into his ear. "Can we stay here for a little longer?"

He nodded in agreement and she felt him look for a suitable place to sit.

"On the other side of the entrance there's a chair." She said as he huffed some of her hair out of his face.

He carried her over as if she weighed nothing and found the inflatable furniture and laughed. "Well I guess it keeps from getting soaked through."

"The kids around here originally brought up an old couch, but after the first rain it took forever to dry out so I bought a few of these. They worked well once we filled the bottoms with sand." She said.

She let go of him as he sat in the chair she moved to drape her legs across his lap and enjoyed the closeness. A realizations struck her that she rarely had Keith up here with her, but for the first time in months she was together again with Brennan and it felt perfectly normal to have him in her place of solace.

They spoke of the past few months. Brennan left out his slight breakdown, and Shalimar avoided too much detail about her and Keith's life together. The stars brightened slightly in the sky, but the lights from the city still overcast them.

"I miss Sanctuary and being able to see all of the stars and hear the woods around us at night." She said in almost a whisper. It was as if to speak louder would have broken the peace that had descended upon them.

Brennan replied in much of the same volume. "I never thought I'd get used to it when I first moved there. I grew up in the city and the quiet took me a while to get used to. Now it feels weird when I'm around the noise." He tugged on her chin to bring her eyes to his. "I really did miss you."

She could see his fear and tension at his admission. Knowing him as well as she did, she knew that he would be silently berating himself for the slip. It wasn't so much the weakness, but rather the fact that he admitted to wanting or needing anything in his life.

His eyes flickered to her lips and she felt as well as saw the heat in his gaze. He moved closer to her and she felt drawn as if he was pulling her in. His one hand was around her back and the other hand was holding her own uninjured one. He was adding no pressure and giving her the option to run. The problem was that she didn't want to.

He looked straight into her eyes and let her know right there what he wanted to do. She moved the last few millimeters to connect their lips. Her sore hand forgotten as it locked tightly behind his shoulders to play with the short hairs at the base of his neck. A voice in the back of her head reproached her, but she couldn't figure out why.

The touch was soft at first barely contact between the sensitive skin surrounding their mouths. Soft brushes against each other and still she felt a heat encompass her and a jolt run through her veins His hand and arm tightened around her back and his other released her hand to touch her face as he parted her lips with his tongue. She felt herself moan into his mouth as she opened hers to his exploration. Their tongues danced across one another and after he had thoroughly explored hers she returned the favor. Running her tongue across his teeth and then caressing each other in a sensual cadence.

He groaned and pulled her around so she was straddling his waist. All sense of gentleness flew out the window as both of his hands flew into her hair and he pulled her head closer. She felt as if he was trying to merge his soul with her own. It was a frenzy and tranquility all in the same breath. She pulled tighter into his lap as one hand braced in his hair and the other on his face. Evidence of his desire was blatant through the heat between them.

Her thoughts fell upon her in a rush. She realized that she shouldn't be doing this. She was with Keith, and as much as this was what her body was yearning for she couldn't give in.

She broke away with a gasp and almost flew off of Brennan's lap. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She could feel the guilt creeping up her insides.

His expression was forlorn almost as if she had taken away something he had wanted his whole life. It burned to see the expression. He stood up and walked away from her. She could see his shoulders rising and falling as he took deep breaths to calm himself.

"Bren," her voice felt small as she called to him.

He gripped the wall in a white knuckle hold and his voice sounded harsh from the ragged breathing. "It's okay Shal. I shouldn't have done that."

"We… We should go back." She said idly as she readjusted the straps to her shirt that she never felt leave her shoulders.

"Give me a minute, okay?" His breathing was almost normal but she could see the pain in his eyes.

Without thinking she walked to him and pulled him into a tight embrace begging silently for his forgiveness. He stood limply in her arms for a moment and she feared that he wouldn't return the hold, but then his arms came around her in a fierce hug that squeezed her ribs tightly.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." He said into the top of her head. "But I can't lose you again."

She didn't know how to respond, so she said nothing as she buried her face deeper into his chest and committed his scent to memory once again.

* * *

_Okay I hope that had enough elements of everything and everyone that it was worth it._

_**Buddies **- Thank you for the review, I'm glad that you liked it! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!_

_**Karen147145 **- All I can say is GAAK!! I wasn't sure if I messed up with that stuff, and I didn't have time back then to research and write so I kinda went with what I could. I figured I'd just stay consistent at this point though. Thanks for catching that for me though. I'll kick myself repeatedly for it! LOL As for the other comments - I really appreciate your kind words about my writing. I've been trying to get better and I'm glad that it is noticeable. And well they didn't exactly fall into each other's arms, but I promise that there will be a lot of underlying tension!!_

_**Rachel **- You are my girl! I hope that this helps to ease your dreams. They are all together again and now there is a huge question mark as to what will happen next! (evil grin) I hope that I made up for some lost time by getting this out soon! H&K TTYS!_

_**Hysink **- Here it finally is the meeting. I really hope it lived up to expectations. I also hope that getting this chapter out so soon took some of the sting away! I do have a few more chapters planned. I'm just trying to figure out how to work them now. Hopefully I will have another one finished sometime this week. Thanks again so much for the review and for all of your prodding to keep up with the story!!_

_**shonnia **- Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad that you like the story and are looking forward to more. I hope that you like this chapter too!._

_**kai0707 **- Well you got the sneak peek so I already know most of your thoughts, but thank you so much for your help and extra set of eyes! I got over to your story (finally I know) and left a review. If you want me to look over any of your stuff just let me know._

.

Til next time...

.


	10. Falling Up Stairs

_TaDa! Here it is chapter 10 in all it's glory. _

_A warning to all of my faithful readers. It's going to be a bumpy ride from here on in. I know that this chapter is heavy on the angst and I'm pretty sure the next few will be similar.  
_

_A special thanks to Jess and Emma for all their help with this chapter. And as always thanks to my readers and reviewers for pushing me to keep the chapters coming._

_Side note - the title of this chapter actually came from a friend at work as we were discussing funny ironies and the act of falling up stairs came up. I felt it was a fitting title with the ironies of the heart and how the arguments between the heart and the mind cause so much discord. So thanks to my colleagues for the help with that!_

_The weapons listed toward the end of the chapter in italics are all martial arts fighting weapons. You can look up the pictures and notes on use on wikipedia if you would like more information on them.  
_

_Review notes are at the end, and let me check for a second... Nope still don't own any of it!_

* * *

_**Chapter 10 - Falling Up Stairs**_

* * *

As he sat with Keith going over the remainder of the files Jesse couldn't help but wonder what was happening between Shalimar and Brennan. He feared that Brennan might do something irrational but cut that thought off. Brennan had been closer to Shalimar since they made up in the alleyway, but by no means did he think they would be pawing each other.

A glance to his right showed Keith intent on the information splayed on the computer screen. The guy was great, for lack of a better term. Jesse had always imagined Shalimar with an adventurous guy who was probably a mutant, maybe even another feral. He had never imagined her falling for someone like Keith.

The thing was though, that the more he got to know him, the more he realized that Keith did care about Shalimar and was a genuinely good guy. It was tough to find people like him in the world and after spending a few hours with him it was tough not to respect and like the guy. He still found it difficult to imagine Shalimar settling down like she was. In the back of his mind he wanted to believe that it was a part that she was playing, an act, for reasons of her own.

After Shalimar and Brennan departed Jesse and Keith were able to hack into some plans for the old hospital/burn center and get an idea of what the layout might be like. It wasn't long before Jesse realized he was far too tired to be brainstorming any ideas, and the thoughts of Lexa tucked warmly on the futon in the other room did nothing to stifle his urges to retire to bed.

Keith looked at him and Jesse could see some of the exhaustion creeping into the older man's features as well.

"What do you say we call it a night?" Keith asked with a mild grin. "It's almost eleven and I can't tell you the last time I got a good night's sleep. I'm sure you guys are in need of a good rest too."

Jesse felt himself nod in concurrence as he gazed through the doorway and across the hall to the work out room where Lexa slept.

Keith let out a light laugh and patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sure she won't mind the company too much."

Jesse felt himself grin in return. "I hope not." He looked to the apartment door before looking back at Keith. "Do you want me to make sure they haven't killed each other?"

The other man shook his head. "Nah, I know that sometimes Shalimar takes a while to calm down. Hopefully Brennan won't be too beat up when he comes back. But…" His voice trailed off.

Jesse knew what he was thinking, but didn't know what to say. He wanted to know what was between the two. How could he answer that if he didn't know himself? Thoughts of past fights held between the feral and elemental flashed through Jesse's mind. He knew that the two were passionate, but what could he say to dispel any of this man's questions? Especially when he had his own doubts about what was happening.

In the end he decided to focus on something rather trivial. "Usually Bren can hold his own pretty well with her. Not to say that he won't come back a little bruised." A slightly forced grin stretched across his features. "Good night, Keith. And thank you for everything." The last part was added with genuine feeling.

Keith returned the gesture. "You guys have done a lot of good. This is the least I can do."

As Jesse crossed the living room to head to the bathroom then hopefully to bed, the front door opened and admitted a slightly ruffled looking Brennan and Shalimar. He hoped that his facial features didn't let on to his thoughts of how they possibly got that way. One look from Brennan told him he failed in that endeavor. The look that the dark elemental gave Jesse just screamed 'leave it alone'.

That was before he noticed the blood caked on Shalimar's hand. "Shit, Shal! Are you alright?" His feet carried him to her side as he attempted to grab at her hand.

She smiled demurely and let him inspect it for a few moments. He was surprised when her other hand came up to rest on his arm. "I'll be fine Jess. It looks way worse than it is. I'll clean it up in a few minutes. You look exhausted, get some sleep."

Nodding to the two new occupants he went to the bathroom and cleaned up. The reflection in the mirror proved that he indeed looked worn and could use a decent hair cut. Those ideas were set aside in thoughts of a warm mattress and a certain warm body residing there.

When he exited Shalimar was setting up the sofa bed for Brennan and stopped in her motions to give Jesse a firm hug and another kiss on the cheek. He barely caught her whispered words exclaiming her happiness that he was here and safe.

He knew that the conversation they had to have would be put on hold. He understood that. Everyone was too tired and spent from the past few weeks. He could only hope that someone could come up with a clear answer once their minds were rested.

Nodding to the other men he walked to the room and barely refrained from falling onto the mattress. Once there, he let the warmth and comfort surround him. Lexa rolled her back against him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, afraid that sleep wouldn't come. Moments later the depths of darkness blanketed him in its comfortable embrace as he drifted into slumber.

* * *

As soon as Jesse went to the bathroom Shalimar went about making the sofa bed for Brennan despite both his and Keith's protests. She waved them off and unfolded the couch and began to make it with the spare linens when Jesse walked out. Pausing in her motions she walked over and gave him one final kiss and hug quietly stating her happiness at their presence.

Jesse had an idea of what happened between her and Brennan. She knew it and also caught the look that Brennan shot Jesse as they came back to the apartment. Luckily her hand being slightly mangled had drawn Keith's notions away from anything else aside from sparring occurring between her and Brennan. She gave him the truth that she had lost her temper and hit the brick wall, which sadly won, but it only slightly pacified the worried man.

Finished with the sofa bed, she quickly ducked into the bathroom to clean her cuts. Keith would bandage them. He had become very adept at caring for her various wounds; however he hated to clean them because of the pain that it usually inflicted. So in lieu of that, she cleaned them and he dressed them.

The cuts were clean and she had finished with everything else. Staring in the mirror she looked at her reflection as if it would hold answers to her questions. Her genuine care for Keith kicked her guilty conscience into overdrive. Confusion swam beneath the surface. As attracted as she was to him, it had been overridden in the heat of the moment with Brennan. She wasn't sure if it was latent feelings for the elemental or an association of fear that caused her reckless disregard.

No. There was too much feeling on her end for it to be just fear and seeking comfort. The fear might have spurned it, but the feelings themselves were honest.

Neither she nor Keith had ever proclaimed their love for one another. It seemed that they did care for each other, but it was a gradually building love. They had been together for several months and she had built a normal life. A life she had yearned for, for so long. A normal lover, a normal job, a normal place with normal rent, and yet she felt unfulfilled.

Brennan had always sent a passionate and wanton thrill through her. It had always been a game of push and pull between her and him. At first it had been lighthearted, but then something else started to change and a deeper connection developed without their knowledge or permission. Where the lustiness of their flirting once was, something deeper and more profound began to underlie it and take root in her feelings and emotions.

There were other times when she thought Brennan wasn't as enthralled with her as others. That was until Samantha. What had sealed it for her was the encounter with the time-traveling new-mutant Samantha who Brennan fell for. He moped for a little while, but was back into the swing of things shortly after, but not entirely. Between the conspiracy theorist and the whole art gallery debacle, she wasn't sure where she stood with him any longer.

It had been one of her decision points for leaving, as much as she hated to admit it. Her heart needed something that it could rely on for a while. Keith was reliable. Brennan… Well she wasn't so sure. The passion in his touches and caresses on the rooftop sent her body aflame, only adding to the debacle present in her mind.

Shaking her head she washed her face again to clear the tears that had welled up from her turmoil. It was too late now. She was going to die if they didn't find Adam. A part of her hoped that she wouldn't, but her mind was prepared to handle the worst. If she made it through she could deal with everything else later. For now she had to be strong.

When she exited the bathroom she saw Brennan seated on the sofa bed waiting for her to come out. Keith had already gone into their bedroom. One look at Brennan's eyes showed his apology and caring, but she couldn't cave to whims. With a quick word of goodnight she all but ran to her bedroom.

There another hurtle awaited her. Keith had the medical kit opened and a few bandages laid out for her. She really wanted to scream in frustration as she had run away from the lion and into a lion's den. Just when did someone decide that she had to endure all of this stress? She just wanted to kick whatever ass decided that she would be good for a joke.

Sucking in a deep breath she looked to him and wordlessly sat next to him while he tended to her wounds. When he was done he put the kit away and pulled her into a tight hug.

"We'll look and find a way, Shalimar." His sentiments echoed those that Brennan had spoken to her not so long before.

Tears again leapt unbidden to her eyes as she allowed herself to seek comfort in his embrace. He stripped her from her clothes with soft and comforting kisses to her shoulders and back before laying her under the covers where he gathered her back to his chest. The energy she felt earlier had long since dissipated, and she was left with the feeling of her body being content but her heart lying in the next room.

* * *

The soft sounds of rustling in the next room kept Brennan awake. Staring at the now closed door made the turmoil inside that much worse. Even with the constant reminders in the back of his head that she wasn't his, he'd acted on his desires.

The kiss was everything perfect. That's what made it so bad. If it hadn't felt right or there were no emotions behind it he would've been able to go on without any problems and still care for Shalimar like a sister. But the second her lips touched his… A part of his soul that he didn't even know he was missing filled with a warm and delicious feeling. He could only believe that Shalimar felt the same by the way she clung to him and returned his attention with equal ardor.

This only made things even harder. Now he felt like he found a missing part of his being, and if he didn't find Adam, there was a chance that he would never have the opportunity to win her back.

Sleep wouldn't come to him. With no idea how long he lay there, he decided to get up and look over the plans that he was sure Jesse had obtained.

Getting up and walking into the office he immediately found the plans lying by the computer. The hospital had multiple entrances and exits as most places like that did. He saw some interesting designs and construction permits for such a place though. There was a lab created in the center of the first floor. It looked to encompass approximately a third of the building's structure, which took up approximately a third of a city block. The rest of the block seemed to be set aside for parking and an abandoned office building.

The lab looked promising to him. The three floors above it showed little change or modification from the original design almost fifty years ago. The parking lot would make for difficult access, but he was sure they could find a way about that. Searching through the pile of papers he realized that Jesse had already thought in the same direction. Both the basement schematics and the plans for the city sewer system were revealed as he perused the material. The sewer wasn't their first route of travel, but without the Helix or any other means of un-obvious transportation they might not have much choice.

A yawn overtook him and he glanced at the clock. It was almost four and he needed to try for a few hours of sleep. It was odd to him, that the first time he had a warm and comfortable place to sleep in weeks and he couldn't drift off immediately. One last look toward the imposing bedroom door as he walked into the living room caused him to shake his head. He laid down on the sofa bed and closed his eyes. His mind relaxed and he was swarmed with visions of past memories with the beautiful blond feral. He fell into a deep slumber moments before the bedroom door cracked open and the person of his thoughts walked out.

* * *

Her sleep was sparse and what little she did get was wrought with horrifying images. Finally she saw the sky lighten and decided to give up on any attempt to sleep. It had just made her more tired and gave her no reprieve of rest. Sliding out of bed she slipped into her track pants and a sweatshirt before she snuck out of the bedroom and grabbed a bottle of water before heading for the front door.

On her way to the door her eyes caught the body of the elemental sleeping on the couch. He was on his stomach and the way the blankets were rumpled over his form showed her that his sleep must have been as fitful as her own. He was sleeping now, she discerned as she listened to the slow, even tempo of his breathing. It was almost a shame he wasn't awake she thought ruefully. It had been a long while since she had a sparring partner that worked with her as well as he had.

A grimace crossed her face as her mind chided her that he was good for so much more. Mentally slamming the door on those thoughts she grabbed her keys and crept out of the apartment so she didn't wake anyone.

She ran up and down the nine flights of stairs twice before going up to the roof. Up there she watched as the blues had lightened to soft pinks, oranges, and violet of the morning as if announcing the presence of the sunrise long before it came.

She practiced T'ai Chi as the colors became more pastel and faded into a golden color shortly before the sun rose. Her body was fairly relaxed and she lost any desire to work herself any more. Taking a seat on one of the walls corners she watched the skyline back lit with the coming sunrise.

Not long after the sun rose she heard the door shut and smelled a heavenly cup of coffee. It was then she realized that Keith had decided to approach her. He had held her silently through her breakdown last night; she supposed that he was confused and worried too. For everything that had happened in the past few months, he had almost always stood by her and been a steady comfort for her to draw from.

Footsteps arrived behind her and she inhaled the rich aroma of the dark brew he held in his hands. Spinning around on the ledge she thanked him with a kiss before retrieving one of the two mugs he held in his hands. A pang of guilt hit her as she admitted to herself that she was hoping Brennan found her, but her conscious admitted that she needed to talk to Keith.

"Are you feeling better than last night?" He asked softly.

Taking a sip of coffee she nodded. "A little thanks."

"It's only coffee." He joked. She could see that the smile didn't reach his eyes. He was torturing himself about what might happen.

Letting out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding she looked to him and spoke. "I mean for everything. I've enjoyed the past few months with you-"

"Don't talk like that!" His hissed voice cut her off. "It's not over until we all give up and let go, and from where I'm standing no one but you has given up."

The tear that slipped from her cheek hit her hand holding the coffee mug. Her eyes followed the trail as it slipped from the skin on the back of her hand to the ground. She cursed her emotions for letting her cry once again. His hand came up to cup under her chin bringing her eyes to reluctantly meet his.

"Shalimar, don't pull away from us. We will find Adam and find a way to save you, Lexa and Brennan." The vehemence in his tone brokered no argument.

"Thank you for believing in me." She whispered before turning her face so that she could kiss the palm that rested by her cheek.

"I just wish I could say the words that we haven't been able to say to each other." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I just don't want to lie to you. I care about you deeply, as I know you do me." He paused to take a breath. "But maybe that shouldn't be something you settle for."

He stopped her protest with three gentle fingers over her lips.

"I think if I had met you in another time or another life I would have fell so deeply in love with you I couldn't see out. As it is… My heart and soul might never be repaired and I don't know if I'm being selfish in hanging onto what we have."

She spoke past the fingers on her lips. "Keith, I'm happy, and I made my decision to leave the team to be with you. Shouldn't that have some bearing on what happens to me? Or did you decide that we aren't working?"

His eyes welled but tears didn't spill. "I used to think you were happy, but then I saw you last night with the team. You were almost beaming to have them in your life again. I think you've missed them more than you can admit to yourself."

What could she say to that? The words he spoke rang with the absolute truth.

"I'll stand by you until the end, Shalimar, but I think you need to reconsider what you want to do with your life. Some people are cut out to live more than just a normal life. Besides, I think that there is someone who might be able to love you better than me."

Lips met in a soft kiss and she tried to pour her apology through that medium instead of words. How had he known where her heart and soul lie? Sometimes he managed to surprise her so much, and it was those times she regretted most that she wasn't able to love him.

* * *

The smell of fresh coffee woke her from a deep sleep. Taking a moment to breathe in that aroma mixed with the masculine scent encompassing her, Lexa fought the pull that wakefulness was torturing her body with. Eyes shut tightly as if in denial of the soft light peeking through the curtains. The body behind her tightened its grasp around her waist before it rolled over to avoid the direction of the sun seeping into the room.

Muttering a low curse, hazel-green eyes opened and scowled in the direction of the window cursing the morning that had arrived all too swiftly. Pulling her feet from the blankets she fought off the shiver of the morning as she donned the pink and gray sweat pants Shalimar lent her and grabbed the zip-front matching jacket to keep warm.

Walking into the living room she found Brennan in a rumpled disarray of blankets. Mostly they had been kicked to his waist and the tattoo covering his back shoulder stood starkly against the paler skin. A pang of sympathy struck her at the goose bumps dotting his back and arms and she pulled the covers up to his shoulders. She felt a sisterly concern for him and this situation. In ways they were more alike then they cared to admit, but she had grown to admire him. His confusion with Shalimar was going to be a tough undertaking and she only hoped that his heart didn't get destroyed in the process.

"There's coffee in the kitchen if you would like a cup." Keith said breaking into her thoughts.

It had been a dilemma of the utmost proportions to accept that she was now residing with someone that she had been ordered to terminate months ago. Of course that was before the world went and flipped itself around even more than it had been.

"I know you probably don't like me, but can we call a truce?" He spoke softly and she had a feeling it had nothing to do with waking the other occupants of the house.

Nodding, she acquiesced. It wasn't his fault that the Dominion had set him up to be a scapegoat; and if she was honest with herself, Shalimar's words yesterday had been true. She was just sore about losing a battle.

"I'm gonna go talk to Shal." He said motioning to the second cup of coffee in his hands and then to the apartments exit.

"I think she'll appreciate that a lot." It didn't take much to see that the man wasn't bad by any standard. He had gone out of his way to help them with very little insistence from Shalimar.

She motioned to the back room and then to Brennan's sleeping form. "Think you can teach these guys to bring coffee to a girl in bed? They might be worth their keep then." She attempted to make good on the truce.

He let out a small chuckle. "I'll see what I can do." He exited the door and left her alone in the room with her thoughts.

The smell of fresh coffee from an actual coffeemaker drew her like a moth to a flame. It felt like a guilty pleasure to have real brewed coffee. That was when she noticed the bean grinder on the counter by the coffee maker and inhaled a deeper breath. Grabbing a cup from the cabinet she filled it then added the necessary cream and sugar before taking a large drink and sighing in pleasure.

Arms wrapped around her waist, almost startling her, and lips planted themselves in the juncture between her neck and shoulders kissing their way up to her face. Her mind kicked in and she placed the cup on the counter so not to spill it before he tightened his embrace.

"So to make you happy all I have to do is have fresh coffee for you every morning?" Jesse's voice chuckled into her skin.

She wanted to scowl but between the ambrosial taste in her mouth and the warm body holding her with tenderness, her only reply was a good-natured 'whatever' before he spun her to face him and his lips met hers in a sweet kiss. His warmth wrapped around her and she melted into his arms as he pulled her close for a tight embrace.

It took entirely too long for her to realize that he had stolen her coffee cup over her shoulder now that her back was to the counter and he was pulling it to his lips to take a long swallow.

"That's not yours, you know!" The words were followed by a scowl.

It didn't have the desired effect as his features lit up and he took another long pull before passing the mug back to her. By this time it was half-gone.

"There's plenty more in the pot and besides," he quirked his lips, "you need to learn how to share!"

"Get. Your. Own." She growled out and refilled the brew.

He only laughed and grabbed another cup before kissing her again. It was instinct to go with the soft pressure of his lips, but she cursed herself all the same for giving in.

Pointing toward the bedroom door he asked, "Keith and Shal still asleep?"

"No, he was actually heading out to find her and talk to her this morning when I woke up." Drawing another long drink from her cup she felt the fresh brew begin to work its magic as her head became more focused.

"He's not a bad guy, you know." Jesse stated.

Grudgingly she had to agree. "I'm still not sure what will happen from here."

"Lexa, there's something important you need to see." His tone took on a sudden grave seriousness and all traces of the earlier relaxed and carefree manner disappeared as if never there.

Without prelude he led her to the office and pulled up the papers and data they had been studying last night. A page was thrust in her hands. She looked up to see what Jesse meant, but his cerulean eyes were focused out the window. Glancing down at the page, it took a moment for her to realize what it was.

"The expiration dates." Her voice sounded like she had run a few miles. "Mine, Brennan's and…"

"Shalimar's," Jesse finished for her with a grim look. "We have to find Adam. None of you have much time, but Shal-"

"Has less than two weeks." The words almost caught in her throat. She cleared it before continuing. "Did you find anything else last night?"

Some more papers were pulled out of the pile and he motioned her to the desk and the chair, pulling the other one to sit by her.

"We located the place that has the highest probability of holding Adam. The problem is that we are hurting for resources and I can't find anything else out until we go in and look around." The tone was resigned but firm.

"Let's get plans done to get in there as soon as possible." She said.

Shalimar had caused problems, yes, but in the end she was still one of them. To find her and lose her again would just be more than the team could handle.

"I vote we strike tomorrow." Brennan's voice rumbled from the doorway. She looked up to see him dressed in a tee and sweats. He was leaning casually in the doorframe. The darkened circles under his eyes were still there, but his face was lined with grim determination.

"I think we might be able to manage that." Jesse said looking between the two.

"I'm going to go get a shower and get changed." She said and stood up.

"You just got one last night." Both men echoed sentiments.

"A girl has to take advantages of hot running water when she can!" A smirk crossed her face as she ran to the workout room to grab a change of clothes and get showered.

She waited until she was under the spray of the hot water to let her emotions loose. She knew that they all had expiration dates, but to see them in bold print was still an eye-opening experience. The tears leaked from her eyes and she silently cursed. It felt like a clock had been set on her life. In a way it had.

There was no choice. They had to find Adam fast. Shalimar was running out of time. Not to mention that both she and Brennan needed to find out what corrections were needed for themselves. Somehow knowing your date of death seemed too ominous. No longer were their lives in the hands of fate, but the scientists that concocted their demise.

Finished with her tears and fairly certain that she had regained a hold on her emotions she shut the shower off and took a set of clothes that Shalimar left for her. The tan top and denim jeans were a very typical style that the feral leaned toward. Something that was fashionable but comfortable to move in if the need arose.

After getting dressed she walked back into the living room to find the guys seated at the table with cups of coffee and what looked like toaster tarts of some sort. They were both engrossed in the plans of the building and surrounding area. As she got closer to the table she noticed a map of the sewer and water system set out in front of them.

* * *

Brennan allowed himself to become immersed in the plans and preparation of getting into the hospital. It was the only reason that he hadn't gone crazy wondering what else to do. The fact that they were living on a clock hadn't escaped his attention. The shower had stopped running and Lexa took a long time getting out. He couldn't help but wonder if she was also taking the news poorly.

When she finished her shower Lexa joined them and they continued deciding on proper approaches that they could take. It felt similar to old times when they would plan and execute missions without much problem. This time was a little harder because of the people they were up against, but that just meant the planning had to be more precise.

Brennan sighed and ran a hand through his overlong hair and tried to concentrate on the schematics on the table in front of his face as opposed to thinking about what was going on up on the roof with the feral and her boyfriend. He didn't want to be jealous of Keith, but that didn't stop it from happening.

The intensity of their intimate meeting last night had done nothing to ease the strain in his mind. In fact he felt like every time he was able to concentrate on something else for a moment it would force itself to the front of his mind and cause a white-hot surge of hunger and want in his veins.

When the object of his thoughts finally walked into the apartment he couldn't help but look for traces that something had happened between her and Keith. It was irrational, and he knew it, but he couldn't help but feel a tug of happiness as she approached the table with a warm grin and soft sway to her hips.

"How far did you guys get?" Keith asked as he looked over Shalimar's shoulder to the plans lying on the table.

He had barely noticed the other man and realized that he needed to focus harder on the task at hand before he could worry about anything else. It wasn't fair to everyone involved if he and the others didn't give their all in this effort.

Jesse cut him off from any further thoughts. "I think that we came up with a passable plan. It's still rough, but we can hammer it out today, get the supplies and be able to put it into action tomorrow."

"Really?" Shalimar said and excitement seemed to lace her tone.

Lexa faintly smiled as she answered. "Yeah, the three of us have been going over the plans and it looks like if we access through this tunnel here," she pointed to a tunnel running under the building. "We can move into the basement of the building. We don't see any alarms set up or monitoring companies online, but that's not to say they're won't be guards to contend with."

"Do we need any outside assistance?" Keith asked as he looked at the map Jesse was highlighting the lines of.

"I'm not sure. Jess and I were wondered if we had a few distractions in the parking lot that it might draw attention." Brennan was able to interject.

"Do you think that would work?" Shalimar's chocolate eyes met his with focus and a hint of thrill. Her voice held a hit of excitement. "I mean, I was just wondering if that might be more of a tip off."

Her motivation on the mission helped him to steady his thoughts. It seemed to have a calming effect on his thoughts. With that look he was able to escape from the torment of his wandering thoughts and find the determination to continue with the planning and execution of the objective.

They continued to talk for a few hours before taking a break. Jesse and Keith started talking and went into the office to work on some computer structured program that Keith had been considering for an application. All in all, Brennan was impressed that he had understood that much of their conversation. Lexa had grabbed the laptop and with Shalimar's permission began shopping for some new clothes online for the three of them. She had drilled both Jesse and Brennan on sizes and styles for several minutes before immersing herself into the world of cyber-shopping.

"Do you want to go for a walk and help me pick up some of the equipment?" Shalimar asked.

"Is it safe for me to be seen in public?" He quirked an eyebrow in her direction, and a smile stretched across his lips to show that he had only been joking.

She only laughed before telling everyone that they were going to go pick up supplies and they would be back soon. Throwing him a baseball cap to help cover his features he followed her out the door.

The elevator felt smaller on the way down with only the two of them then it had with the four of them on the way up yesterday. The stifling silence only wore on until they arrived at the sixth floor.

"Bren, we need to talk about last night." Shalimar finally cut through the silence.

He sighed, it had been coming and he knew it. He just wasn't sure what to say. Nodding in acquiescence to her words he opted to let her continue with her thoughts before he made an ass of himself.

"I'm sorry that I let my emotions get to me like that last night." Her voice was soft and she was focused on the numbers of the elevator as they blinked the floors of their decent. "It wasn't right for me to do that to you. I was feeling volatile and scared. I feel like I took advantage of you. It's not something that I would have asked of anyone else and I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me."

Blinking in confusion, he was finally able to conclude that she was blaming herself for what happened. He specifically remembered wanting to be that close to her and almost begging her for the embrace. The first time he had been able to pull away from her but the second time he lost control of himself and took possession of her mouth and soul without caring about the consequences. He felt like he was reeling from this discovery.

The world was righted by the soft ding of the elevator and he looked down to see Shalimar frowning before she spoke. "I don't know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to hurt you." She immediately darted out the doors.

A split-second later he was out the door after her and caught her at the front door to the building. His voice was still lost but as he reached her in the foyer he grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I didn't do anything that I didn't want to." He murmured into the top of her head as he pulled her tight to his body.

"Do you forgive me?" Her voice was a little broken and she had unshed tears lacing her beautiful russet eyes.

Trying not to laugh and peak her ire he settled on a gentle smile. "I can't because there is nothing to forgive."

Again she was buried in his chest and he could capture a few words of missing him and glad that they were together again. Two other residents walked past them as they stood in the foyer. Their quizzical glances were silenced immediately by his glare and protective embrace around the emotional feral.

Once she had pulled herself together a smile adorned her face and she pulled him into a part of the city that he wasn't too familiar with. It was very Asian based and the writings on the overhead banner pronounced it to be a market section of Chinatown.

"So how come we're in this section?" He asked as they walked casually around the market.

"Well, as a team we've never spent a lot of time in this area, and it's really close to the apartment so I usually make a trip down here once a week or so. It's really neat and I wanted to show you where I worked." She grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street.

"I thought we were picking up supplies?" He asked as they got closer to a small dojo on the corner.

"We are." Shalimar chirped as she pulled open the door for him. "I can get a lot of them here."

"Oh, well in that case," he grinned as he swept his arm out for her to enter first.

Shalimar walked in and spoke a few words to the owner and head instructor. He was introduced as a friend from school and had been trained in the arts as well. The instructor was very happy to meet him and pointed him and Shalimar to the spare storage for her to take whatever she needed for their 'sparring practices'. He had to admit that it was an excellent excuse to borrow equipment, and he had been invited back to the dojo for the upcoming tournament that they were having.

They grabbed the equipment and headed out with words of thanks and good days. Then Shalimar pulled him into the local hardware store to finish buying the few supplies that were left on the list. Mostly it was small stuff and all of the equipment had been easy enough for him to carry.

"I want to stop by the market on the way home and pick up some stuff for dinner tonight too." Shalimar said as she readjusted the bag in her arms.

Brennan was toting a medium sized backpack with a few toys that Shalimar had become proficient working with while at the dojo and some ropes. Seeing her trying to keep hold of the awkward package he decided to make an offer. "Here let me put the rest of this in the backpack because it should fit without a problem."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to have to carry it all." Shalimar said as she pulled to the side of the sidewalk to allow the other travelers passage.

"Just give me the stuff." He huffed and pulled the things out of the oversized paper bag and put it into the backpack. "If you listened to me when I told you in the store, you wouldn't have that huge bag to tote around because they didn't have a smaller one." He grinned as he stood back up with the pack over his shoulder to look smartly at her.

"Don't even try to tell me that you are going to lecture me on not listening." Shalimar retorted. "I know bugs with a longer attention span then you!" She was unable to get her words out without a smile.

He wanted to kiss her, but refrained and tossed her the paper bag. "Here you have something to put your food in!" His tone was light, but he still had a heavy heart.

The shopping in the market was fun. It was reminiscent of two teenagers shopping. They ran from booth to booth and were looked at oddly by more than a few people, but it didn't seem to matter because neither of them could stop.

For a while all the drama in their lives stopped. They were able to just be and enjoy it.

They arrived back at the apartment in the middle of the early afternoon. There was a note on the table that Keith had been called into the one lab to help with a problem in an issue they were having with a sequencing, and also a note saying that Jesse and Lexa were having _a nap _in the other room.

Looking into Shalimar's eyes he could see that she was also thinking about disturbing them, but in the end some courtesy was extended and she took a few of the weapons out of the bag and flashed him a grin.

"Wanna spar?" She asked mischievously.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Shalimar found herself sweating and panting, but enjoying every moment of it. Her one side hurt where Brennan had connected with the _Shillelagh_. Her defenses had been fairly sound otherwise. She had been using training weapons, a pair of wooden _Sai _and a _Tonfa. _Those had been her favorite sparring weapons of choice over the past few months. Brennan had made several well planned attacks with both the _quarterstaff _and the _shillelagh_. Both had pulled their strengths back with the weapons, but still fought with vigor.

Finally she had her shot to pull Brennan's staff from his hands and as she placed her aim with the Sai, she saw his attack at the last minute as her feet were swept from under her and she landed on her back. Brennan collapsed to his knees pinning her arms to the ground just below her shoulders.

"Give up?" He questioned with an almost feral look to his expression.

"Never," she cried as she struggled to pull her legs up behind him but he just leaned closer to her while shifting more of his weight down on her.

In her struggling she didn't realize how close he had become until she felt the bead of sweat land on her forehead. Opening her eyes she found his face only a scant few inches from her own. Her struggles ceased and she was drawn into his deep mocha gaze. Her tongue wet her lips unconsciously and in an instant their game had shifted from playful to impassioned.

Guilt crossed his face as his eyes closed and he shook his head before standing and moving away from her with a whispered apology.

It took her a moment to regain her balance and by the time she did he was drinking a bottle of water on the other side of the roof. She saw the strained expression in his face. It dawned on her that maybe there was more to them than she ever gave credence. She knew that he wanted to kiss her, both times in fact. But the remorse that blanketed him a moment before he pulled away was undeniable. The longing hadn't been replaced but it was like he had been reminded of something.

Her body and mind were on fire, heart racing erratically, and her soul calling out for him. It was so much more then just the lust she had tried to pass it off as in the past. A connection deeper then she had ever known was built with the tall, dark haired man.

Love… The word swam in her head and caused her to focus on him and everything about him. Infatuation was present, but she realized that it wasn't the only feeling. This was a soul-deep and encompassing emotion that she was positive she had never felt for anyone before.

Those feelings spurned her to move forward and possibly make the boldest decision of her life.

* * *

He had to get away before there was a repeat of last night. His heart couldn't take the flooding of emotions that the kiss would bring followed by the distance and guilt of the actions. Walking across the roof he grabbed his bottle of water and took several deep pulls from it.

The sparring had been great. He hadn't worked himself this well in months. Mostly since Shalimar had left. Proximity hadn't been a problem at first but the tension had unconsciously built in his blood as they came closer to taking each other down. Thought hadn't occurred when he pinned her to the ground. The playful banter was just fitting.

Spending the day with her had been wonderful and he refused to do anything that would destroy the bond they were rebuilding.

"What was that?" Soft fingertips on his shoulder accompanied her soft words.

He spat out the water that he had been gulping in effort to refocus. Forgetting that Shalimar was a feral and therefore a predator by nature was dangerous business. Moving with silent grace was natural for her and if she wanted to approach someone quietly it was almost impossible to catch her. And that was if one was paying attention.

Turning his face away from her he felt the words come. "It was nothing, Shal." A blatant lie, but maybe she would buy it and leave his piece of mind.

"I just need to know if you feel the same about me that I do for you." Her voice was a mere whisper on the wind.

He never remembered her being so brazen, but then she had never been given a time limit for her to confront her emotions.

A deep breath was followed by another. "I don't know Shal. Did you miss me deep in your soul too?" No holds were going to be barred. He might not have time to tell her later and as much as he admonished himself for those thoughts, they still came unbidden as if the gravity of the situation needed to be reinforced. Turning, he faced her with a final question. "Would you stay for only one reason if there were a million others that say you should leave?"

Her breath caught then faltered for a moment as she met his eyes. They were almost emotionless as he stared into them. It scared him as she prolonged her answer with more silence.

Not being able to take it he began to turn away.

The sudden strength she possessed was quickly reminded to him as she pulled him back around and looked at him squarely with heavy emotion clouding her expression.

"Give me that one reason, Bren." Her voice held none of the turmoil of her expression.

Some part in the back of his brain stopped him from kissing her. The rest of him was fighting against the restraining part, but he had to know one more thing. "I can't be pushed aside if this happens. Are you looking for something or are you looking for me?"

No words were spoken as she pulled him down to her lips. They crashed together with heartfelt emotions and painful longing. "You, just you," She answered as she pulled away then returned her mouth to his embrace. And he could both see and feel the truth behind her words and actions.

A tear fell from his eye as he realized how scared he had been that she would have rejected him. Emotions surged as he felt her body melt into his and their mouths connected almost desperately. Last night had been intense but restrained. No holds were placed on this. It was like offering a man in the desert for weeks a fountain of water. There was no sating the thirst for her.

He pulled her closer and up to meet him as she ran her hands under his shirt. The flesh of his back reacted to her hot touch and he returned the touches. The moans she let out were almost sinful as he took his time exploring her face and neck with his lips.

She returned the favor by placing tender kisses and soft nips along his jaw and neck. He could feel her need almost pouring out of her. It was so intense that he wasn't able to stop the moan that bubbled out of his throat. Teeth seized the side of his neck and he could feel the gentle suction of her actions. When she let go she laved the area with her tongue.

The meeting was a little too frantic and quick. The back of his mind was telling him to stop, but he couldn't figure out why.

He was so desperate to taste her and to feel her body against his. Sensations he didn't know existed coursed through his body. Their lips met again and he was taken aback by the tears he tasted on her lips and skin. Wanting to engulf all of her and keep her with him always seemed to be the only intent he felt.

A door slamming caught his attention first. The shuffling steps on the roof were the second indicator and he pulled away from Shalimar. She looked as despondent about the end of the kiss as he felt.

Looking to the corner by the doorway he knew that there was no way to cover what they were doing. Both of their clothes looked disheveled and he knew that the rest of him was rumpled.

Dirty blond hair and blue eyes turned the corner to look at the two who were still locked in an embrace. Jesse frowned at him and looked sadly to Shalimar.

"I didn't mean to disturb you but I have some bad news." Jesse said with all seriousness.

* * *

_**Rachel **- Luv ya girl, and thanks so much for the review. Thanks for kicking me in the butt and making sure I keep writing! I'm really glad that I was able to make the reunion fitting. I went through several ideas before I settled on that one, and I'm glad that it worked out. Oh, the girls said hi back! LOL!!_

_**Emma **- Thank you again for all of your help. I'm glad that you liked the reunion and I didn't let it get out of character too bad. Looking forward to seeing your next posts too! Have a great holiday!_

_**shonnia **- Really appreciate the review. I'm glad that I was able to keep the reactions sounding proper. It was a struggle, but fortunately it seems to have worked out. Hope that you enjoy this chapter too!_

_**Hysink**- Really appreciate all the help with my flubs. Hope the corrections look okay. I'm glad that you've liked the chapters so far. Hoping the ones to come are as good!_

_**Karen147145 **- Thank you for your kind words and I've finally gotten back to work! LOL. I'm glad that you like the way that I've built the story and I'm not promising anything, but as you can see this chapter is starting to fade Keith out! :)_

_._

_._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Okay, so I finally got around to posting this. Big problems between life and computers... It's a whole big thing. I did change the ending from the original version. I hope you like it. Thanks to all who are still reading!**_

* * *

_**Chapter 11 - Nas Nie Dogoniat**_

* * *

Lexa sat at the table staring at the screen and captions shown on the TV. She and Jesse had emerged from the room only a half-hour earlier and had been sitting down to a late lunch while playing the TV in the background. Unfortunately their comfortable bubble was burst by the interruption of a news break cutting through the babble of afternoon television.

Keith had told Jesse, Brennan, and she about his occasional job in the eastern part of the city for Dela corp. He had been working occasionally as a consultant on some of the research. He had laughed saying that the information was so far behind what he had been doing it was funny. He had referred to it as being a high school student having to go back and retake his elementary grade classes all over again. That was probably why he had been successful as a consultant.

Now the newscaster flashed another image of the Dela corp. building. Its three story stucco exterior showed its age, but still had well manicured lawns and gardens in front. The view was marred by the members of the SWAT teams and police force swarming the front.

A sharp ring of the phone startled the brunette as she stared at the building. Quickly jumping to answer it she picked it up to hear a harsh breathing on the other end before she could even say hello.

"Hello?" She queried. "Who is this?"

The breathing took a sharp intake before speaking. "Lexa, its Keith, Just listen, I think the Dominion is using this as a diversion to get me. I don't know how they found out how I'm alive, but they are searching the building for me now."

"Just hide somewhere Keith. We'll be there to get you."

"No, this has to be a trap for you guys. Just tell Shal that - oh shit, they're coming-"

The line went dead as the door burst open holding the other three members of the team.

"Is that Keith?" Shalimar questioned as she raced for the handset.

The dial tone of the empty phone line echoed in the quiet apartment. The noise sounded almost grating, but no one was willing to stop it.

"What happened?" Brennan broke the tension as he walked to Shalimar and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to soothe her while replacing the handset on the phone holder.

His eyes connected briefly with both Jesse and Lexa over Shalimar's head as she turned into his chest and clenched tightly to his shirt.

"We were having lunch and we saw the picture of Keith's building come on with a news break that there was a hostage situation." Jesse said pointing to the screen. "I figured it wasn't a coincidence and ran upstairs to get you."

Lexa put her hand on Shalimar's shoulder in a soft gesture. The feral's eyes met hers in a sense of gratitude and understanding as she brought a hand up to cover Lexa's. It was the first real gesture that she had made toward showing any forgiveness to Shalimar. It was then that Lexa realized that she had come to terms with Shalimar's decisions, with that the envy and anger had faded.

"We'll do something," was all she could say.

"We have to get him out." Jesse said after a moment. "We can't stand by while innocent people are getting hurt, especially if it's our own fault that it happened." At looks from the others he added. "If Shalimar and Keith hadn't been looking for us I don't think the Dominion would have found them. They must have found out about Shalimar when she took out those Dominion members at the information drop."

"I'm so damn stupid!" Shalimar cursed as she pushed herself away from Brennan and stomped over to the window before stopping and looking out. "I led them right to us." Her voice was barely more then a whisper. She crossed her arms in front of herself and leaned against the window sill.

Lexa felt the weight of her friend's emotion as if it was her own. A slamming of the door made her spin to see Jesse staring at the door and Brennan no longer there. Jesse looked as confused as she felt and offered her a slight shrug as he walked over to Shalimar who still hadn't moved from the sudden flurry of motion and noise. Her sight remained locked on the street below.

* * *

His emotions were twisted inside. Watching Shalimar lament over her… what? What was Keith to her: Ex-Boyfriend, roommate, friend …lover? His heart twisted slightly at the thought, even with the realization that up until earlier she hadn't even known of his feelings for her.

Then the guilt had started in. That was when Shalimar had pushed away from him. Watching the tears roll down her face in the window's reflection he had to get out for a minute. Maybe he had made a little of a dramatic scene in hindsight. It wasn't intentional.

Walking up the steps he got to the roof and gathered the weapons. It was still early afternoon and he stretched for a moment enjoying the warming sunlight hitting his skin. Letting the sun chase away his negative emotions he realized that he was being childish. No matter what, Keith was in trouble and they had to help.

New resolve flowed through him. Grabbing up the last of the equipment and tossing it into the bag he went back downstairs and re-entered the apartment. He wasn't surprised to see Shalimar in the same spot, but Jesse and Lexa were conspicuously absent until he heard their voices in the computer room.

Making a decision he dropped the equipment by the closet and walked over to where Shalimar stood. The urge to touch was strong and he pulled his hand back before it could reach her shoulder. He had to let her move to him. His body was close enough to hers that he could almost lean a few inches and be touching her. He stopped before he did though.

"We'll get him back, Shal." He said and stood for a moment watching her for a reaction.

Her arms slowly uncrossed themselves and she reached a hand back to catch his. Grabbing it she pulled his arms around her. Tenderly wrapping his arms around her petite form he kissed her hair and just stood in silence waiting for her to speak.

Standing for long moments he stared at her reflection, noting her eyes looking down at the street but didn't seem to focus on anything. It was disturbing to say the least. When she finally spoke it was in a low tone.

"You know he told me that he wanted me to be happy. I think he knew that there were feelings between us." She paused and took a deep breath. "He already knew somehow that I might choose you if it came down to it. He was more worried about you not being good enough for me," she let out a quick sobbing laugh. "He wanted to make sure that you would treat me right."

Brennan felt his breath catch. In the back of his mind the question turned itself over and over. Was he good enough for her? He knew that he would die for her, but would he be able to give her a good life and make her happy? He didn't have any answers. Instead he kissed her temple and hoped that she would continue.

Her eyes turned to his and he could see the pain welling in her soul. It pulled at her and was tearing her apart. Something deep and painful was dwelling under the surface. Before he could question it she spoke.

"I failed him. I failed him and Adam. I was supposed to keep him safe and not let the Dominion get to him." He could tell she was struggling to control her words. Her voice held tears and her eyes shone but she held strong. "It's my fault."

At a loss for words, Brennan could only hold her tighter and pour his caring and support through his actions. Every fiber of his being screamed to comfort her, but the confusion of how to do it was just as loud. In the end he settled for murmuring soft platitudes into her ear and caressing her back. For several long moments they stood by the window encased in each other's arms. He wasn't sure if she would speak again, but he had nothing to vocally offer.

Eventually she sighed and began to speak again, her voice steadier this time. "He and I never really talked about you much. I would talk about Jesse, Lexa and even Emma. But not you, maybe that's how he knew I still had feelings for you." A smile ghosted her lips. "He was always too damn smart. I just hope we can get to him in time." The rueful tone betrayed her only slightly.

"We'll get there as soon as we can. I think Jesse and Lexa are working on a plan now."

He tightened his arms for a moment before loosening them and moving back toward the office. Shalimar kept hold of his hand and followed him in.

* * *

One hour thirty-seven minutes and four seconds later Shalimar felt like throwing every plan out the window and just doing things her way. But that had been the reason for all this in the first place, a little voice in the back of her mind chided. Her impetuous nature had caused the original drop to go bad. Taking a deep breath she thought over the plan they were using now.

It was fairly simple, but it had taken them four different drafts to find the right mode of attack. Not being sure where Keith was hiding or being kept had been the major hamper on the whole operation. This meant that they had to do surveillance and search. Jesse and Lexa were going to go in and try to find out if the men had captured Keith. She was going to start at the top and work her way down while Brennan started at the bottom and worked his way toward her. Hopefully they would avoid confrontation, but decided to plan for the worst.

When all was ready they packed themselves up and grabbed any gear they could find to use. Keith had several ear-bud microphones that they agreed to use. It was the best way to stay in communication that they had found so far. Strapping on a few of the gear pieces that she and Brennan had picked up, Shalimar watched out of the corner of her eye as Jesse and Lexa spoke in soft words to one another with occasional glances at both her and Brennan. She knew they were worried about her ability to keep her head when someone she cared about was in trouble. Past examples were pretty much proof-positive that she didn't have a great track record for keeping her cool when emotions were involved.

Taking a deep breath she calmed herself and tried to go over the plan once again in her head. Keep quiet until they had no other choice, the basic premise of the plan screamed stupid but it wasn't like they were infiltrating organizations or just taking on a few bad guys trying to save someone. No, for all she knew they were going to use everyone in that building against them. It wasn't something that they wanted to happen.

Warmth at her back caused a calming sensation to wind its way down her body and relax her muscles. Breathing deeply she caught the scent of Brennan's aftershave and the scent that was purely him, leather, sandalwood, and a rich spicy tang of his sweat. Leaning against him she felt him inhale deeply before running his hands up and down her upper arms. They didn't need to talk; it was one of the things that she had always loved about him. Their communication seemed to run in a deeper form then words when needed.

A look from Lexa had her spine straighten until it almost cracked. It was time to go.

* * *

The dark that had settled on the city was working in their favor. Brennan was able to short out the power grid. Knowing it was risky the team still opted to do it to give them an advantage. They might not have had night vision but each had practically tattooed the layout of the building in their minds. All of the operatives with the Dominion would know they were making their move but the chaos that would be added to the surrounding area would help to guide them in and out with less notice.

Brennan watched as Jesse and Lexa took off to the side of the building shortly before he fried the grid circuits. The repairs would be close to an hour, or so they hoped. Shalimar had left their side several blocks before to take to the rooftops and make her way onto the building.

After sending an electrical pulse through the main board he quickly replaced the cover and took off down the street. Rush hour traffic was still flowing through the area and with the traffic lights no longer working several minor accidents had people milling around outside of their vehicles in front of the building. Slipping into the crowd Brennan was able to find the back entrance door that Jesse had propped open for him.

The darkness settled like a blanket over his eyes for a moment before his eyes adjusted and were able to take in the gleam of lights off of the reflective surfaces in the hallway. Making his way down to the lobby area he was able to overhear the conversations of the operatives.

"We know that he has to be here somewhere!"

"Well he's not on the bottom three floors."

"That leaves only two left to search then."

"Who is checking the exits?"

Silence followed for a moment before a hushed curse. Then a bang that sounded suspiciously like a gun shot with a silencer.

"I'll ask again. Who is checking the exits?"

Brennan moved into a door behind him that led to a laboratory. He should be able to get off this floor through here. Meandering through the equipment he quickly found the door on the far end that led to the opposite hall and the stairwell.

Once he was pretty sure he was clear he murmured into the microphone. "Guys, I think he's on the fourth or fifth floor. The guards haven't found him yet."

Jess and Lexa quickly acknowledged him and Shalimar whispered a quick thanks before the air went silent again. It was times like this that he missed their old communicators. When they would be doing stakeouts and undercover work he almost always had someone talking to him. On more then one occasion he and Jesse would use the surveillance glasses for more personal use and often get in trouble when the girls or Adam found the files. Now the empty silence was almost menacing.

Quickly searching the first floor he made his way to the second before locating the other members of the staff that had been herded into a room and locked in.

"I found the other workers in a room on the second floor. They are on the east side, the second room toward the back. How are you guys going with you search?"

"The top floor is clear, most of it looks like they are doing construction." Shalimar replied.

"The third floor is clear. Shal meet us on the fourth and Brennan stay hidden for a little bit. We'll use the other people as a distraction to get out of here." Lexa said.

Looking around he found a janitor's closet with a drop ceiling. That would suit his needs just fine.

* * *

Meeting Jesse and Lexa on the fourth floor they started combing the area until Shalimar was able to pick up Keith's scent. He was hidden in one of the storage lockers. When she opened the door he all but flew at her with a few sharp looking pieces of lab equipment.

Instinct saved her from becoming cut or injured, and at the look on Keith's face there was no denying his happiness at seeing them. Then he swept her into a tight hug while murmuring into her ear.

"You shouldn't have come. They want you guys not me. I don't even know how they found me."

Before Shalimar could think of anything to say Lexa was pulling on them to leave.

"We need to go now. Their going to be coming up here to check pretty soon and we have to get out."

"How are we going to get down without being spotted?" Keith looked confused.

"That's pretty easy when you have someone like me to get you from point A to point B!" Jesse replied cheekily.

Bending over he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled making a shimmering ripple flow in a circle on the floor. At Lexa's pointed look Shalimar grabbed Keith around the waist and jumped down to the lower floor being quickly followed by Lexa and Jesse.

Shalimar left Keith's side and listened intently at the door. When no noise was heard she opened it and did a quick inspection before leading the group toward the east side. When they reached a good spot to drop down she pulled them into a room where Jesse once again was able to drop them through the floor onto the second story of the building.

"Brennan we're on the second floor in the last room." Shalimar whispered.

"Be right there."

A quick look outside showed that the workers had arrived and were working on the circuits that Brennan had so artfully burned. Traffic had begun to move along thanks to the patrol officers who were standing on the corner, non-the-wiser of the hostage situation going on not twenty yards from where they stood.

A soft click had everyone in the room glue their eyes to the door. Brennan's tall form emerged into the dim light reflected from the outside. Shalimar felt a small beat of happiness in her heart that he was safe. From the look he gave her, it was mutual.

Lexa began speaking as soon as they gathered close. "From here the best option I see is letting the hostages go and using them to help cover our escape. If we can get them out through the first floor side door where Brennan entered we should be good."

Brennan was shaking his head even before she had finished speaking. "It'll be no good now. They have guards posted at the entrances and these guys mean business. The guy in charge didn't think for a moment before shooting one of his own."

"So all of the doors are pretty much out?" Shalimar felt herself ask even though she was almost positive of the answer.

"How many people are they holding?" Jesse asked looking between Keith and Brennan.

"I don't know maybe twenty? Keith?" Brennan looked in askance.

"That sounds about right. Most of the employees work an early shift and were gone before the place was overrun." His eyes bled apology even in the dark. "I'm so sorry that this happened."

"Too late for sorry now," Lexa said, but the tone was more of a brush-off rather then an angry retort.

"Well if there aren't that many people I can probably get them through the wall." Jesse speculated.

"We'll need a distraction." Shalimar said as her mind shifted into gear. "They have people at all sides, but maybe if Lexa can help me we can shed a little light in their eyes?"

A sly smirk curved the girls' eyes. It hadn't escaped their notice that all of the guards had been outfitted with night-vision goggles. "That could work."

"The back has no entrances and seems to be the least guarded." Shalimar's mind raced to her initial surveillance.

Quickly looking at Jesse, Brennan, and Keith, Shalimar assessed their thoughts of the plan. Nods of approval came, although Brennan and Keith shared a reluctant hesitation. She knew that it was risky but they were not rolling in options at this moment.

Looking to the guys then to the window, Shalimar glanced out and saw the dark vehicle parked down an alleyway across the street. Feral eyes glowed and she saw that the guards were more lax then their interior counterparts. One was relaxed against the seat and the other was watching the street with little notice of the building.

"Jess, if you can get us through this wall I can guide Lexa down while she keeps us invisible." Shalimar looked. "Those guys aren't paying much attention. It will work in our favor."

Keith squeezed her hand tightly and pulled her into another hug. "Be careful," he whispered into her ear.

Brennan's eyes looked slightly jealous but they would have time to iron out the details after they were safe. Flashing him a quick smile she saw that his expression mirrored Keith's words. She knew her eyes were reflecting the same sentiment.

"Ready?" Jesse asked as he stood against the wall.

A nod from Lexa told her that it was a go. Grabbing Lexa's waist with her left arm, Shalimar braced herself to take the jump to the car across the street.

"We'll land on the hood so just be ready." Shalimar said as they backed up slightly then launched through the opening that Jesse created.

* * *

In the span of a few moments the world had taken a quick turn. Brennan had dashed out the door with Keith hot on his heels. Breaking the door open that held the captives he began telling them to go but to be quiet about it. Jesse was almost thrown against the wall as the panicked people began to rush out.

They had made it to the bottom of the stairs before one of the guys had bumped into on of the girls causing her to stumble and yelp as her ankle twisted under her weight. Brennan grabbed her as they continued to funnel down the stairs and Keith led them to the back storeroom that had a wall leading to the rear of the building.

Jesse pushed through and the people became more upset as they realized that there was no exit in that room. He had to tell more then one person to be quiet and listen so that they would all get out alive. The wall began to shimmer on the other side of the room and Jesse was ushering people out as he heard shouts of the captors. Still holding the girl he urged everyone to hurry and move out quietly. As one of the last guys were passing he handed over the girl to him.

The whirring of the air system came on and they knew that time was up. The electric was back on and they would have all of their equipment working again as well as the cameras that were in the hallways; including the one above his head. With a snort of disgust he aimed his hand at the camera and sent an electrical bolt toward it, effectively causing it to spark and stutter as it stopped its rotation.

"Brennan c'mon!" Jesse yelled.

Bullets hit the wall and he had to agree with Jesse's idea. Racing for the makeshift exit he ducked through as Jesse followed him panting heavily.

The scene that greeted him made a lurid swear come out from between his lips. The guards had started coming around the building and firing at the innocent workers who had just been released. The girl who had injured herself lay on the ground by the corner being approached by a man with a gun trained on her head. Brennan didn't think just took aim and shot him with his electrical blast. Running to the girl's side he grabbed her up and started carrying her in the direction of the fleeing people.

What happened next would be the source of many nightmares for too long. Not noticing that Jesse had still been recovering from his long bout of expelled energy, Brennan had taken off thinking the younger man would follow. Lexa's shout was the only reason he turned to see the situation.

Lexa had been across the street intercepting the guards and taking as many down as she could. She was too far away, and now so was Brennan.

Jesse was being surrounded and trying to punch his way out with little success. Blond hair announced Shalimar's entrance into the fray. Taking down two of the guys in her initial attack, she tried to help Jesse face down the rest.

Brennan heard the leader's voice as clear as day.

"I have no more use for you genetic mistakes."

With several shots he watched his best friend and his love fall to the ground.

Lexa's scream permeated the air as he felt himself drop the girl he was holding and call up power he never thought he could tap into.

Unleashing their offensive force, Brennan and Lexa fought until they no longer knew how they were standing.

* * *

A black haze swirled in his head. For a moment, he could almost think it was a nightmare and that he would wake up and see Shalimar and Jesse seated at the table arguing. The events that led him to this place began to unfurl in his mind. The anguish was just as real as reliving them all over again…

_He turned just in time to see one of the operatives that had gotten past him take aim at Jesse, who had stretched himself to the limit getting the hostages out of the building and was barely able to stand, let alone mass or phase himself. Shalimar must have seen the shots coming because she was already moving in front of Jesse._

_The sound of the gunshot filled the air with a harsh crack followed by several more that echoed the initial shot. His mind flashed the full scene of Shalimar's body as it jerked to the left by the initial impact into her torso then backwards by the second one into her throat. Jesse's voice screamed Shalimar's name as he too was hit with the bullets piercing Shalimar then entering his body and causing mortal damage._

Brennan's mind was a mess of confusion and anger, anger at the others, anger at himself, and just plain angry at life and its outcomes. He knew at one point that he and Lexa had stood over the remains of the operatives who killed their friends, but he did not remember how it happened. His recollection was hazy at best with only moments between then and now where he was laying on the sofa in Keith and Shalimar's apartment. Time was confusing and he wasn't sure if only a few hours had passed or maybe they had been days.

"You need to eat something." Keith's voice broke into the silence of the room.

"What time is it?"

"Nine o'clock at night. You haven't moved in over a day." Keith sounded sad and distant.

Brennan had to wonder for a moment why Keith would sound that way but then it hit him, this man loved Shalimar as well and her loss would be a huge toll on him too. Guilt joined his already raging emotions, was it really less then two days ago that he had Shalimar's lips on his, her body flush with his own. All the while the man standing here watching warily was in trouble.

Brennan quickly pondered the possibility of walking into the Dominion headquarters and see how many of them he could take out before they killed him. The thought had appeal. Most every thing that he had come to love was gone.

Mentally sighing he realized that he couldn't do that. Survival was programmed into him, even when he wasn't sure what he was surviving for.

Moving his eyes to Keith, he saw the man looking intently at him. "What?" His voice was slightly harsher then he intended.

Moving a step back, the shorter man took on a look of thoughtfulness. "I have a thought to run past you and Lexa." Turning he began to walk from the area to the kitchen. "Wake her and join me in the kitchen. I'm going to start some coffee and food." With that, he walked out.

Forcing himself to move Brennan found his limbs initially uncooperative and sluggish. He grimaced as he realized that his body and mind seemed to be in agreement with his mood.

Taking a few steps to the back room, he found Lexa stretched out on a futon in the back room where she and Jesse had initially slept. Her breathing was shallow and every few seconds he could see a slight hitch to her breath. Lexa's pride needed to stay intact and he knew that if he just stomped into the room it might make things a hundred times worse. Taking a step back, he knocked on the doorframe to give her a moment for composure before calling her name. A few seconds later he saw her shift and sit upright, hauling her feet over the edge and planting them on the floor, her back to him. Her hands reached up and swiped at her face before she turned around.

Her face was splotchy from tears and her eyes looked as bloodshot as he was sure his were. Uncertainty took over for a moment, and he wanted to hug his last companion but her wild and defensive expression caused him to hesitate. Instead, he took a step into the room and took a deep breath before speaking in a low tone that one would use with a frightened child.

"Keith is making us something to eat, and he says he needs to talk to us."

Her expression narrowed for a moment and he could see the words she didn't say as she glanced past him to the hallway and the kitchen. Her jaw muscles jumped and she nodded tersely before standing.

Turning around he headed to the kitchen and found Keith dishing out some pancakes and sausage onto plates. Brennan wasn't quite sure what to make of the food, but opted to at least try to put food into his system before totally discarding the idea.

Lexa entered a moment later and sat next to Brennan. Keith silently handed over plates and coffee to both of them before taken his own mug and plate. Brennan noticed that most of the food had more mileage moving around on the plate then it did being eaten. The tense silence was making him want to crack. Lexa was staring daggers at Keith, Keith was angrily spearing his food then pushing it around, and Brennan was just trying to figure out who or what he could take his aggression out on.

"I have an idea." Keith said finally breaking the silence.

"Oh please, lets hear it oh wise and marvelous one!" Lexa snarled. "I mean hell, it was your idea to go into work when you knew that there were problems with the Dominion to begin with, but please let's see if you can kill me and Brennan off now!" Her voice had risen along with her body as she leaned forward on the table to stab Keith with another hard look.

Brennan could think of little to do, part of him understood Lexa's anger. If it hadn't been for Keith, maybe this whole situation would have been entirely different because Shalimar would have been with them instead of making a new life with him.

"I think that your anger is partially rightly placed, but we all knew what we were getting into if you recall." Keith showed no malice toward the fiery brunette instead he took a deep breath and kept his face expressionless as he looked at her. "I remembered something that Shalimar told me about a mission you guys went on, and mutants who could return you to the past."

Brennan's breath had hitched slightly in his chest as he realized that he had been wishing he could turn back the clock and change things.

Lexa's looked angry for a moment before the thought settled completely with her and she realized the option that was presented to them. She slowly maneuvered herself back into her seat.

"I know it's not good to mess with the past, but there are circumstances that I think might need changing. I just found out that Adam was killed as well."

The silence was almost deafening. This was really it; everyone who could do something was dead or dying.

"How did you find out?" Lexa's voice sounded oddly calm and remote.

"It was on the news. His body was found washed up by the river." Keith never looked up from his plate as he relayed the news. "They didn't have a name, but showed a picture to see if anyone could identify him."

Brennan was shocked by his own sharp intake of breath.

"We have to stop this from ever happening. I found someone who agreed to help us." Keith continued his explanation quickly. "She was a friend of Shalimar's and her brother is able to create a portal to the past. It'll be a one way ticket, but hopefully that's all you guys will need."

* * *

The next few hours quickly evolved with a whirlwind of discussion. When to go back to, what to do and any other plans that, they might need to be prepared for. With all three of them bouncing various ideas back and forth, it was intense and slightly disturbing.

Brennan finally needed a break and walked away. He found himself unconsciously moving to the roof to watch the sky slowly starting to lighten to welcome the day. Sitting on a low wall as his thoughts took over he relived some of the memories of the past three years.

Five years ago he was little more then a petty thief and con artist. His life had changed so drastically since then. Meeting Adam and the team had been one of the best things to happen in his life. Even with the events of the past few days, he wasn't sure if he would have traded his decision. It had afforded him real friendships and a family. Nothing that he'd imagined having in his life.

A throat clearing broke him out of his ponderings.

"I used to find her up here a lot too." Keith said softly as he moved to sit on the wall next to Brennan. "I used to wonder if she had ever left something behind that she shouldn't have, you know?" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You know her though. She would always deny it and say that her choices were always her own. But I think we both know different."

Brennan felt off-balance by his words but before he could engage his mouth to speak, Keith continued.

"I think that she wanted to make everyone around her happy. Her spirit was infectious and bright, and when I first met her, she entranced me. It was like watching fireworks or meteor showers. I wanted her to stay with me to help me find the light in myself…"

Brennan's mind thought of how Shalimar had become a personal bright star and how she had changed his life in so many immeasurable ways.

Keith continued. "That's where I was wrong though, too selfish if you will. Her light seemed to dim a little each day she was away from her real life and team. I don't think she ever noticed it, but little by little, I began to see it in her. Heaven knows I tried to stop it from fading, but how could I when I'm almost certain I was the cause."

'Of course you were,' almost flew out of Brennan's mouth but somehow he refrained from speaking it. He needed to finish hearing Keith's side of the story. Somehow, he could relate to it in his own way. Something about Shalimar had drawn both men in like moths to a flame.

"Then you came back into her life. At first, I thought she was just happy to see her old friends, but as time went on, I realized how much her old life had meant to her without her knowledge… How much you meant to her, Brennan."

Brennan felt his breath catch as the other man spoke as if in confessional.

"I was selfish to keep her with me, Brennan. I need you to promise me that you won't let her go with me this time. It might make the biggest difference in the world, or it might make none. I just know that she is happier with you and the team then me."

Brennan's head nodded and he watched as Keith exited the roof.

Long moments passed and Brennan could only think of what changes would need to be made. Adam needed to be kept safe, the expiration dates, and maybe Shalimar's return home all hinged on Brennan and Lexa's ability to change the past.

Shalimar's face flashed in his memory once again and he came to the conclusion that there was nothing left in the current future for him.

* * *

_**I originally left a cliffy with what happened at the building, but my muse kicked my ass. So you have no cliffy, and I'm working on the next chapter. Since I lost a lot of my work I am still in the process of reviewing old notes and stuff. Hope you like and thanks again for your patience.**_

_**Oh and those who are wondering the title mean's - Not gonna get us -it's an old song by Tatu.  
**_


End file.
